Geek on the Side!

Vanessa kind of sucks

I went back home feeling like pure, Grade A doggy poo. What Daisy said to me, it really hurt. It really really hurt like hell, ya get me? And the worst part is that, beyond me simply not caring, I don't know WHY it is that I always go after married people! Even knowing that we could never be together because I could never bring myself to trust them, I still let them do me! And I do it because somewhere, deep inside my filthy and vacuous soul, I goddamn LOVE IT!

I LOVE IT! I LOVE having sex married people, being the secret that could destroy another person's happiness! I LIVE for the nights where I make sure to leave no trace of myself behind, lest I get caught and then blamed for whatever happens! I absolutely ADORE doing the Walk of Shame every time I leave someone's house or apartment, because I can never, EVER bring someone to MY place, lest I risk a crazy stalker or something!

So you know what? I don't give a FUCK what people think of me! Let them judge me; I've been judged all my life! You think I care!? You think I give a crap!? NO!!! I was told by my mother to marry a rich man, but I'M THE RICH MAN!!! I BUILT MYSELF FROM THE GROUND UP USING THE GIFTS GOD GAVE ME!!! So who the hell cares that I like to do married people, huh!?

Let ye without sin cast the first stone!!!

As I arrived home, I got a text message. I took out my phone to read it: You ruined my marriage you WITCH!

Yeah, whatever; go cry about it. Oh look, another text message: My son is in therapy because of you! I hope you die and burn in hell!

All these whiny floozies blaming ME for their goddamn HUSBANDS cheating on them! Like, wake the hell up; you married a loser! If I told these dumb women HALF the crap their husbands have said to me about them, they'd puke! In fact, if ANY of these sour chicks didn't use unknown numbers and burner phones, I'd reply to them!

Oh look, a third text message! My wife and I would have been celebrating our tenth anniversary tonight, if it weren't for you.

Oh boo hoo, buddy! Ya know what? While I was licking your wife's *Censored*, she was telling me all about what a loser you were! That you can't get it up anymore, that you work a dead end job, that you're too chicken shit to ask for a raise; I could write a whole, goddamn BOOK about the crap cheating wives say about their husbands as I do 'em!

"Oooh, he's so neglectful!" She'll cry as I lick her clean! "I have to be on top of his butt to get him to take out the garbage! He can't even tie his tie without me! He's such a loser!"

People talk so much trash about their so-called significant others to me as I do them, that I seriously wonder if EVERYONE talks trash like this! Like, what if I HAD succeeded with Paige, huh? Would she be talking trash about Daisy then!? Would she be going like "Ugh, I can't believe I hooked up with her! She still watches CARTOONS for crying out loud!"

A-a-a-and that's so messed up! I've met Daisy, I KNOW her! Just because she still watches cartoons and likes video games doesn't make her any less of a lovely and wonderful person! Damn, I'd KILL for someone like Daisy in my life! Somebody who'd wait for me early in the morning as I went out jogging, who'd sing me ACTUAL praises, who'd be loyal, and...

... and I think I finally get why Sam said what she said. I wonder, of all the marriages I've destroyed, how many of them had a Daisy in them, someone who'd never want to believe that their significant other so easily and thoughtlessly betrayed them? I think about doing it to Daisy, it brings tears to my eyes. I almost did it, and it wasn't anything I did that stopped me. I almost succeeded in destroying Daisy's happiness, like I've destroyed so many other people's. It makes me sick...

Oh God, I need to puke! I hurried to the bathroom, lifted the toilet seat, and just let loose. Am I pregnant? Again? Damn, and getting an abortion in Kansas is way harder than in Cali! Ugh, and I even used protection!