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The sorority house was quiet, as it usually was during the day when all the surgeons were off doing their life savings

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The sorority house was quiet, as it usually was during the day when all the surgeons were off doing their life savings. Blair, who was trying to soak in as much reading as possible before  the next semester began, sat in the living room with hot chocolate next to her, a blanket thrown over her lap, and a book in her hands. She had music playing softly in her earphones.

She was reading a book about childhood friends to lovers—one of her favorite topics for obvious reasons. With everything finally slowing down and trying to get back to normal, she thought back to her conversation with Hannah, her conversation with her parents, to her own feelings about where she was in life.

While she could not admit it to them, or even to him, she could admit to herself that perhaps she was just a little too soft for all of it, the pining, the waiting, the long game she seemed to be playing, but she wasn't sure she could escape it either. There was no way she could possibly escape it, not when she also didn't fully believe that there's no way her and Jackson weren't going to eventually figure it out.

But how could she expect herself to progress with him when she denied any possibility of it happening and refused to ever make a move?

Hannah, on some level, was kind of right—she was a few years shy from being thirty and harboring a secret crush on the same person as she was in high school. But, in her honest defense, this was her default mode.

Sure, there had been other guys she had momentary crushes on—other guys at school, a passing crush on a co-worker during college, an attempt at flirting with another teacher at the high school she worked at—but even those, she never dated. And the honest reason why?

At the end of the day, she still wanted just one person. And a huge, secret part of her thought that he could, too.

She just wasn't ready to find out. She wasn't too sure if she'd ever be ready to find out.

She heard the familiar jiggle of keys from outside the door, not bothering to look up to see who it was as the doorknob twisted the door open.

"You know," it was Meredith's voice. Blair put her hand on her page she was on, looking up at her, "today a patient told me it was a bummer I was married."

"Huh?" Blair asked in confusion. "Was he hitting on you?"

Meredith chuckled, closing the door behind her and walking a bit into the living room, shaking her head. "She was saying it was a bummer I haven't been able to make out with Avery."

Blair's face contorted with disgust, her eyes squinting just a little, an "Ew," flying out naturally.

Meredith just shook her head at Blair's response, turning to go put her things down and change out of her work clothes, leaving Blair with the mental image of something she just did not want the mental image of.

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