Cage

24.

Alex's POV

It feels like a tsunami is passing through my body. My ears are clogged with the water, my brain muddled with no sense of direction. All I can taste is the bitter dryness left behind after being in salty water for too long. It's overwhelming and confusing and I can't breathe.

I've put distance between myself and Cag—not Cage. What do I ask first? I don't want to ask anything, I want to go back and un-hear all of it.

"How much of this was a lie?" I ask, but even my voice seems to have washed away.

His hands are shaking furiously. He swipes them over his face. The candles lighting the library cast shadows between us. "I—"

"Don't tell me you love me. You had enough time to tell me that. I don't want to hear that now. Please just explain."

"My name is Damon. People called me Cage in school but it wasn't my given name so I kept it when I became an undercover journalist."

What would a journalist need—? "You never believed me." All this time, I felt that he was the only person who heard and believed my story. He didn't. He never believed me.

The emptiness that drains through my body and leaves a tightness in my chest is unforgiving. It takes everything.

I'm alone in this world. I never should have forgotten that.

"That night," I say. "When we were locked in my cell together."

He nods. "A setup. This is a prison. They have cameras and guards everywhere."

A question I don't want the answers to gets stuck in my throat. "That day, with Grant, when he tried . . ." No, they wouldn't be that horrible. They couldn't.

But Ca—Damon's expression is broken. He says nothing and that says everything.

Oh my god. The searing pain of betray brings tears to my eyes. "B-But . . . But he hurt me."

"I know, Alex, it's really messed up." He turns away from me. "I didn't know until after. Our company, they wanted the truth and thought that if I saved you from that, you would trust me with the truth."

I sigh. "And I did." I told him about my ex, about my family. I shared every vulnerability like he was a person who wouldn't hurt me.

"I didn't know that you were hurt so badly in your past. I didn't know that Quinton did all those things and your parents—"

"Shut up!" Tears slip down my cheeks. I told him so much. I trusted him so much. "I didn't tell you those things so that you could write a story about me! I didn't—" I can't talk. I press my palms over my eyes. Stop this. Let this feeling go away.

"I'm sorry, Alex." He almost sounds genuine. "Please forgive me."

I don't want to hear that. I want him to look at me in the eyes, like the monster he is, and feel nothing.

Once the tears have finally cleared from my vision, I meet his gaze again. I try to calm the ache in my chest but it's not going to go away.

I walk closer, until I can see every feature of his even in the candle light. "Take me to my cell." I hold my hands out for him to chain me. He stares at the handcuffs that he'd just used for other purposes. A flush of humiliation crosses my cheeks. I let him do that. I wanted him. "I'm a fool," I whisper.

The world gave me a million reasons not to trust anyone and I still did.

"You're not. I lied. This is my fault, not yours. I'm . . ." He struggles to breath. "I'm so sorry."

"When . . . When is my date?" With everything going on, I'd lost sight of reality. I fooled myself into thinking that it won't matter when my date is because Cage—Damon—is going to save me. "How long do I have?"

He bites down on his lip. "Two weeks."

I gasp for air, my hand clutching my throat. I gasp again, stepping back and realising what's happening. I move away, as far away, and try to act okay. I try to pretend like I can breath, until my head becomes light and I can't pretend anymore.

My brain takes over and I cough, my heart racing at an unearthly pace. Air. I need—

"Alex." He turns me in his arms, taking deep breaths. "Deep. In. Out. Come on."

I shake my head, pushing him away and struggling. Nothing. Who cares, if I die tonight or in two weeks? I'm still dying alone.

I choke, and cough, and try. Tears spring back to my eyes. Let it happen then. I trip over myself and land on my hands and knees. I gasp, clutching my chest.

Such an empty, tragic life. When I finally found a light, a hope—"Alex, Alex, please." He gets down and pulls me closer to him. I don't bother to struggle. Everything feels numb. He holds me tight in his arms, swaying from side to side. His palm brushes against my cheek.

My eyes fall shut, the pain in my chest easing for a second. It allows me to breath again, through the tears staining my cheeks.

The smell of him is warm and calming and familiar. It is the only familiarity I have and I don't want to let go of it.

I'd been cut a million times by all the people I loved, but the wounds had been stitched closed with time. Now I'm here, and all my scars are open.

"You can tell them." Not that he needed permission. "Tell them about all the ways that the world let me down. My parents didn't want me, my adoptive parents wanted me only to make them money, my ex wanted me for pleasure. Tell them how alone I was in a world that failed me, in a world that wanted nothing but to use me and leave me. The way you will. Use me, use my story, but I want you to look me in the eyes when they kill me. I hope you feel as little as I will. It'll finally be over. There'll be nothing left of me to use."

His face is nearly as wet as mine with tears, his body shaking. He presses his forehead to mine. He knows words are pointless.

There's nothing more to say here.

0•0•0•0•0

Damn, that's depressing. I love depressing chapters (is that weird?), like I just want to feel SAD. I want characters that partially ruin me.

Okay, I'll see you in therapy.

Qotd: give me a song that always makes you cry?

T w i t t e r : xPineappleGirlx
I n s t a g r a m : laylaawrites
Y o u t u b e : xThePineappleGirlx

Lots of love and jelly tots - xThePineappleGirlx