Adopted by a Musical

Chapter 10

TW: SH, ED

AIMIE'S POV ~

I woke up, Stella still hugging me tight, buried into my side trying to stay as close as possible. I honestly felt so bad for her, she'd gone through so much and it still affected her now, it wasn't fair on such a young girl. I went to get my phone out my pocket when I saw a cut on her arm, I gently lifted up Maiya's hoodie sleeve (I'd only just realised it was Maiya's she was wearing) to see multiple scars scattered over her arm. I hadn't seen it in her, who was I? Someone who didn't notice when someone was struggling this hard.

I decided I won't say anything but I would tell Maiya, she had a soft spot for her. In fact I would message her now, 
'Hey Maiy, can you keep an eye on Stells for me, she's been cutting herself I think she's really struggling at the moment. Don't tell the girls just be there for her and keep an eye out, love you x'. Sent.
 I scrolled through my DM's and instagram feed until she woke up, "Morning love," she smiled at me, "You alright?", she nodded. She's gone mute. Shit. This was more serious than I thought. The girls wouldn't mind, they'd support her, especially Courtney and Vicki, they were mute once too. 

STELLA's POV ~

I went mute. 

It was for the best and I didn't feel like speaking or doing anything at all to be honest. I was still absolutely exhausted and my social and emotion status combined was no higher than 2%. 

The girls had to go to the Arts Theatre all day so obviously I went with them, with a big bottle of water. I was fasting, not eating anything at all, I could live off of water and if I got hungry then I guess I'd have to count the calories again, I couldn't help it sometimes. It was a habit, really hard to get out of. I didn't deserve to eat anyways. I ended up having some orange juice (187) because Aims wanted me to get something in my body.

Once we got to the theatre I sat in a corner of the dressing rooms with Maiya's blanket, reading and sipping on water whilst I did it. The queens did a (for once) chilled 'grwm' live. Apparently people were asking why it was so 'low-energy', and obviously Nat didn't know what was going on so she claimed she had no clue then Aimie told everyone that we had to be quiet because Maiya was on a call. She wasn't, she was sending stupid voice messages to my old friends back inn my old school like 3 hours away because I was too busy trying to hold back my tears. I didn't know what to do with myself, I was safe, okay, but I just couldn't cope at the moment. It was all too much. And the girls probably hated me for it, they probably thought I was attention seeking or something, you know what I should probably just be myself again, save the others worrying about me. Not me, having to get rid of me. I smiled and joined in with Maiya, why not? 

I swallowed the feeling of crying and watched her shout into the speaker, "YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SHREK WELL TOO BAD HE'S MY HUSBAND!!" I forced myself to smile, 
"He's actually mine,"   I said with a hint of sass, I saw Aimie turn around to look and frown at me, I giggled at her. "We got married yesterday." I added.
"Jeepers I didn't realise my husband was cheating on me with two other women!" Aims joined in, Nat giving her a massive glare as if to say 'Hey Aimie, did you realise you're the most mature person in this room why join in?', she glanced back, "What? It's true we got married last summer." The live was clearly very confused as to what was going on. "I actually have no clue." Nat told them. 

Vicki was on for Aimie tonight so I sat in the dressing room with her, laying my head on her shoulder and slowly drifting off to sleep, I never got to sleep though. I just couldn't. Eventually, i sat up straight and decided to start a conversation. "Hey Aims,"
"Yeah? What's up?"
"Uhm... do you think the girls like me?"
"I'm sorry what?"
"Um... I don't know."
"Stella of course they do. We all do, don't worry, we'll all be here for you when you need it, none of us are gonna judge you for anything, this is a safe place." That. That made me feel ten times better. I meant it this time. I might still not feel like eating but at least I felt like I belonged a bit.

"Should we do a live?" I changed the subject so she didn't have to worry anymore.
"Sure." She replied, unlocking her phone. "Hey guys!!", she announced later on. All I will say is there was loads of goggles because we ran around the dressing rooms backstage and ran into Maiya when she had to come off for like 30 seconds in Haus of Holbein. We decided to record the MegaSIX at the end for everyone today aswell. It was fun.

When we got home we had pizza, I took 1 slice of the cheese (235), and I had an apple (53) because "I'm not really hungry to be honest." So the total amount of calories I had today was the glass of orange juice (187), a slice of pizza (235) and an apple (53) = 475 calories. I was strong. This was good, I decided to have a limit of 550 calories a day at the most. 

I was so lost in my thought Maiya asked if I was okay, "Yeah, I was just replaying the MegaSIX from today in my head." I replied then fixed a little laugh on the end. Eating was so embarrassing for me, that was so weird. It was a good day though. We talked about animals and tried to convince Nat to let us get a bird (her and Aimie were like the parents of the house). We all teamed up and decided we would get a Macaw called Mojo and oh my goodness we ended up begging. 

We got sent to bed 20 minutes later. We made an instagram post about it and confused all the fans but it was funny, unfortunately I fell asleep halfway through Millie's explanation post so really I was clueless. 

However I'd managed less than 500 calories, that was good, I was strong, 

::stupid/fat/ugly/worthless

no I wasn't. Yes I was. I could do better though. Everything has calories in it. Everything but water.