Hiding

Chapter three

Humiliation. There is no other word to describe the emotions running through his veins right now. Shame... Guilt. Knowing that he fucked up. Today, he wasn't a leader. In more ways than one. And he hasdisappointed his father in such a degree he could lose his status in the firm. And to top it all of, he found out that people don't like him at all. Not even a little bit.

And Magnus.... Jesus Christ... Magnus is here. The only person, besides his family, that know about his sexuality is suddenly present in his life again. Alec can't think of anything that could be worse. It doesn't even matter if there had been a misunderstanding between them all those years ago. Well, maybe it would have mattered back then. Maybe Alec would have had a tiny bit of experience with relationships. If they had ever tried the secret dating thing. But there is no dwelling on that now. He is a grown man with responsibilities. Not teenage dreams and silly fantasies.

No, Magnus is just a tiny obstacle in his very organized and well-planned life and career path. An obstacle he will do his best to completely ignore. Besides, what are the chances, that Magnus even remembers anything from back then? Alec had all but forgotten until Clary and Jace reminded him.

Hunched over his desk, buried in his work, Alec suddenly hears his stomach rumble loudly. He groans and stretches as he looks at the time. Midnight... and he hasn't had anything to eat yet. Not proper food anyway. A granola bar and coffee had been all the substance he has consumed.

He grabs his mug with cold coffee and heads towards the breakroom. A warm cup of coffee will do wonders for his tired mind. On the way he hears swearing coming from the copy room. Witch is odd, since everyone should have gone home by now. Quietly Alec peeks in through the open door, only to find Magnus kicking the copier and swearing at it.

"You piece of fucking trash! Come on! Just do the one fucking thing you are supposed to!"

"Seriously? You are talking to a machine?"

Magnus jumps in surprise and drops the papers in his hand. Alec looks down at the papers that are now scattered all over the floor.

"Jesus Christ!" Magnus clutches his chest. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Alec shrugs and looks towards the flashing screen behind Magnus.

"Paper jam?" He asks and Magnus nods.

"Yes. For the hundredth time this evening. God, I hate machines!" Magnus whines while dramatically flailing with his arms before bending down and collecting the papers on the floor. Alec puts down his mug and kneels to lend him a hand.

"Have you tried removing the paper that's stuck inside?"

"Duh!" Magnus rolls his eyes. "Of course, I have. I'm not an idiot. It just gets jammed up again and again."

"There's no need to be a dick about it..." Alec mumbles as he hands Magnus the papers. He gets up and grabs his mug. "Enjoy fighting with the machines." He says as he leaves the room.

"Wait!" Magnus shouts and hurries after him. "You are right. I was a dick, I'm sorry. Will you help me?"

"Why?" Alec asks.

"Well, because we are coworkers and Mr. Lightwood expects these files to be ready first thing in the morning..."

"No, why were you a dick?"

"In there?" Magnus gestures towards the copy room. "I'm under a tiny bit of stress and then I sometimes become less charming."

"And earlier today?" Alec wants to know.

"You weren't exactly a reign of sunshine either."

"Maybe not, but I was in a hurry and..."

"Being a jackass comes natural to you?" Magnus interrupts.

"Excuse me?!" Alec crosses his arms and towers over Magnus.

"Well, it isn't exactly the first time you are an idiot towards me," Magnus crosses his arms too and stares intensely at Alec. "Now, is it?"

"I..." Alec sighs loudly. "That was a misunderstanding. Something I, myself just have come to learn. And it is like a thousand years ago. Maybe it's time to let go of old grudges and grow up."

"Fuck you!" Magnus says sharply.

"Well, fuck you too!" Alec responds. For a moment they both glare at each other, holding their ground.

"So, this feels immensely mature..." Magnus mumbles. "Fine, you are right. Consider the grudge to have been let go. All gone now."

"Really?" Alec asks ad loosens up a bit.

"Sure. Why not. It's not like it would have worked out between us anyway."

It wouldn't? Alec feels like asking but doesn't. He can't. The words won't leave his lips.

An uncomfortable silence fills the air between them and Alec shuffles on his feet a little. He hates awkward silences.

"Uhm, I think I'm gonna go get that coffee now."

"Sorry, I took the last of cup." Magnus admits. "I thought I was the only one here, so I didn't want to make a new pot."

"Great..." Alec mumbles and debates internally if he should just drink this old, cold and stale coffee in his mug.

"But if you will help me with the paper jam, I'll buy you a cup of coffee." Magnus says with a slick smile on his face.

"Fine, I'll try." Alec heads towards the copier again. "But I can't guaranty it will work."

"No guarantees. Got it." Magnus stands on his tiptoes to peek over Alec's shoulder while he starts to unjam the machine.

"Aha! He says and pulls out a tiny piece of paper. "This sucker must be the sinner."

Magnus moves closer to see where he pulled the paper from and Alec suddenly realizes that Magnus' body is flush against his own. He has never been this close to another person that isn't his family. The heat radiating from Magnus' body feels overwhelming and Alecs heartrate spikes.

"That tiny thing?" Magnus asks and Alec quickly closes the unit and steps away from Magnus.

"Yes, that was it. Everything should be working fine now." Alec responds and hands him the little piece of paper.

"Troublemaker." Magnus reprimands the paper in his hands while Alec swiftly escapes through the door. "Thank you!" Magnus shouts after him as Alec rushes towards the elevator.

There is only one thing on Alecs mind right this instant. Space. He needs to put as much space as he can between him and that Damn Magnus Bane.

Before he even realizes it, his feet have carried him all the way to the doorstep of his brother's house. quickly he knocks on the door and wait for it to open. He doesn't even care that its past midnight

"you were right..." he pants when they finally open the door. "Both of you, actually." He steps inside and they close the door. "I definitely needed the preparation to see him... way more than I thought I would. And definitely not for the reasons I thought." Alec sits down and they follow. "What I'm trying to say is that the part of me I thought were gone. Dead and buried.... It isn't... it's very much still alive. And it's kicking and screaming and I don't know what to do..." Alecs voice cracks. "Help me... please."