Hiding

Chapter fifteen

"Do you like the city this far?" Magnus asks as they sit at a tiny café, having a drink.

"I do. It has grown on me."

"that's not the only thing that has been growing on you all day." Magnus mutters while locking his flirtatious eyes onto Alec's. Holding the eye contact, Magnus slides his foot up Alec's leg, making him groan around the rim of his bottle.

"I fucking hate you." He says and then sips his beer.

"I know you do." Grinning Magnus leans closer, "but just imagine how incredible an orgasm you are going to get when you jerk of tonight after having been teased all day."

"I don't..."

"Don't what."

"Do that." Alec nods discreetly towards his lower body.

"You are kidding, right? You don't touch yourself? How the fuck do you stay sane?" Magnus nearly shrieks.

"Keep your voice down!" Alec scolds and Magnus apologizes in a whisper. "I've never really felt the urge to, so why start?"

"Wait so... orgasms? You haven't had those either?"

"Yes of course I have. I have wet dreams too, you know. I just don't actively choose to chase them."

"But that is like no way near the same. Fuck, you are in for a treat."

"No. because I won't be doing it."

"Seriously? I know you are fucking horny. I can almost smell your goddamn arousal."

"That's not true, right? That it can be smelled..." Alec can't control the panic in his voice.

"Are you that scared of your own sexuality?" Magnus asks deeply concerned.

"Not scared... or maybe... well, yes, I think I might be." Alec admits.

"I'm so sorry for you. That must be hard. Constantly fearing your own body and mind. But why? I know you are not homophobic, because you put up with me, so what is the reason for it?"

Alec empties his beer. He pauses for a second, debating if he can tell Magnus. In he end, he believes he can.

"I think I would become addicted to it. I'm like 90 percent sure. Both my siblings have very active sexlives and I would be the same. Probably worse, actually. From what I can tell, gay men are a lot more... uhm.."

"Slutty?" Magnus winks.

"I wouldn't use that word, but yes. And I'm afraid of going down that road."

"You do know it's the 21st century, right? You are allowed to be as sexually active as you want. People don't care anymore. And if they do its none of their goddamn business."

"I care..."

"I know... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"its okay. I know what you mean. But come on, just look at how your teasing me has made me lose control numerous of times. I have all the potential of being a readdict. A freaking slut – to use your word - Just inactivated."

"Well, I'm an activated slut, so let's drink to that." Magnus clinks his glass against Alecs beer.

"I'm serious Magnus. I can't be like that. The family's reputation is important. It could hurt the business."

Magnus sighs then nods.

"I get it. You've got to do what is right for you. So, do you want me to stop teasing?"

"Please don't ask me that." Alec groans.

"Why not?"

"Because then I have to say yes... and I don't want too."