-Timeskip back to practice after flashback-
After practice started again, Bada introduced us to her new choreo to the song chili by Hwasa for our new mission. She first talked about her ideas and how she would implement them. Then, she showed us her first moves. She started explaining everything and eventually got to the pre-chorus of the song. She slid down to do choreography on the floor. During this, I caught her looking over to me, smirking ever so slightly. I looked to my right to check if anyone noticed and it didn't seem like it. Everyone was way too hyped about the choreo.
After Bada teached us the key points of the choreo we decided to call it a day. Everyone worked hard and I'm really proud of the outcome already.
As we were packing our things to leave, Bada called me over to 'discuss' something. The others just left before and we finally had some time alone. "Did you like it babe?" She asked tiredly, pouting at me as if she didn't just almost make me fold. "I think I take back what I said about Smoke being my favorite choreo of yours.." I got closer to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm proud of you love, you're amazing!" She rested her head on my shoulder and sighed. "Hey, is everything alright?" She seemed to be quite upset ever since we almost got caught by Lusher earlier. "We have to be more careful. What if anyone sees us?" This sentence struck me. She's right, but why does having to hide our relationship hurt so much? I want to be able to tell everyone. I want to hold her hand in public, I want to kiss her in public.
I noticed Bada looking up, trying to supress her tears. "Hey stop, look at me. Don't cry. I know this situation is hard. I wish I could give you more than just being able to spend quality time together in private. I hate being lovers in private." I hugged her, and she broke down, tears streaming down her face. It breaks my heart to see her like this and I can't help but to feel like it's my fault.
We sat down and I pulled her to lay down on my lap. She was still crying. I wiped her tears and gave her a kiss on her forehead. She layed her arms around me. I could feel her lightly sniffling against my hoodie, and it made me even sadder. "I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry. This world is so unfair. Why would we have to hide our love just to keep living?" She pulled back to look at me. "y/n, you know this isn't your fault right?" Bada looked into my eyes, looking for an answer since I couldn't get out anything. "It's not. I know you're a very sensitive person.. but please," she paused for a moment, "always remember that I was the one starting this. And, honestly speaking, y/n, you make me the happiest girl. I don't care if we have to hide our relationship. Sure, there are moments like right now where I just wish to have the privilege of getting to be open about us. But the most important to me will always be you. Loving you was the best thing that ever happened to me." She sat up again and reached out her hands to pull me closer and gave me a kiss. A kiss that could heal all the wounds ever created. I started crying. I never realized just how much this guilty feeling affected me.
Bada decided to take me home and spend the night with me. We both felt better after a long conversation and were back to our usual selfes.
We ordered something to eat and some drinks. While watching our favorite show, we ate. It was cozy. I don't have to change who I am whenever I'm with her. She makes me feel seen and loved just by being there. I'm so glad to be with someone like her. She truly is the woman I want to spend my life with.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Tell my why I sobbed while writing this
Anyway, this part is a bit shorter, I just felt like there should be a cut after this scene.
