I woke up the next morning, opening my eyes to see Bada peacefully sleeping next to me, with a slight smile on her face. I chuckled, realizing she must be dreaming. I stayed next to her for some time, studying all of her features. I have always adored her little dimples whenever she smiles. I gently caressed her cheek. My hand wandered all the way from her chin up to her temple. She has the prettiest face I have ever seen, without doubt.
I got up quietly, not wanting to wake Bada up. I first went to the bathroom to get ready. After I was done, I started walking to the kitchen, wanting to prepare breakfast. At this point, I heard some shuffling in the room. She must be awake. Instead of going to the kitchen, I stopped in front of the bedroom and went inside. There I saw Bada trying desperately to wake up. "Good morning, love." I walked towards her. "Don't rush, I'm about to make us breakfast! You can stay in bed until then. I don't mind."
She put on her glasses and smiled at me. "I'm awake now. Please let me help you."
We made breakfast together and listened to music. It turns out she actually likes the music of my favorite band, 'wave to earth'.
Suddenly, she turned to me. "I dreamt about you. We were in this pretty field with so many flowers. You were wearing a beautiful white dress, it matched the scenery so much." She started rambling about her dream.
"Can we please go on a date like this? I'm begging you." Bada practically got on her knees. I laughed at her cuteness. "Sure. But you have to wait until spring. You won't see me in a dress in winter."
She visibly realized the unfortunate timing of her dream and pouted. "Spring starts soon. It's almost February. And besides, this way I have more time to get a dress you like!" She smiled.
"I love you babe, I'm going to plan this date thoroughly." She began jumping with joy like a kid.
We continued listening to music as I washed the dishes and she helped me clean the house. As the song 'homesick' by wave to earth started, Bada suddenly stopped everything and looked at me with a light smile. "Hey y/n, did you know this song reminds me so much of you?"
"Of me? Why's that?" I honestly asked, trying to figure out what she meant.
🎼Erase me from here and set me free🎼
"Before we met, I felt so out of it. I never told you but before forming Bebe, I was in a quite depressing situation. I had just gotten out of a relationship with a girl who, let's just say, wasn't the one."
I didn't say anything. I waited for her to continue on her own, as I didn't want to pressure her to tell me anything.
🎼All I wanted was to fly high (oh-oh-oh)
I can't believe my wings are broken
And fell against the sky, yeah🎼
"Well, even though I seem all 'manned up' and bold, I didn't have the guts to break up. I was drowning in my bad thoughts. But I never told her. She made me feel self-concious and I slowly started hating myself.
I tried my best pleasing her and doing everything I can for her, but it was never enough."
She looked down, and I saw how hard it is for her to tell me this. She has never been a person to open up easily.
"Baby, it's okay. I'm so sorry to hear all of that. Should we change the song? I didn't mean to remind you of-" She cut me off.
"No, sorry. That's not what I was going for. I just have to tell you the context now. I have been waiting to tell you, but I couldn't quite decipher my emotions."
🎼Oh, will you please take me home?🎼
"I realized how much this relationship hurt me and I thought I would never be able to properly fall in love again after this hell of a relationship."
She smiled weakly before continuing. "But, then I met you. I started liking you almost immediately after our first encounter. You were so sweet and supportive, you were everything anyone could ever ask for. I didn't want to let these feelings for you get to me, due to my trauma and fear of getting treated like this again."
The instrumental part of the song started and I noticed a tear slowly roll down her face.
I felt so bad. I didn't know anything about her past relationship being this traumatic. I don't even know who she was dating. Anger took over me, my face getting hotter every silent second. I wanted to get back at whoever did this to her.
I was about to say something, but she put a finger over my lips, signaling that she wants to continue.
"You must have noticed how awkward I was at some point during practice. Well, it was all because I was in love with you, but too scared to acknowledge the extreme crush I had, to protect myself. But rethinking about it now, you showed me that I can genuinely trust you. That's why this song reminds me of you. The lyrics remind me of Redy when she used to manipulate me and then you came and rescued me. Therefore the 'will you please take me home?' part. You are my home."
I froze as she accidentally told me the name of her past lover. I didn't even hear what she said after. Does she really mean THE Redy? Like, the Redy we're competing against? The anger came raging back.
"Redy is the one that did this to you!? She broke you like this? How does a human being hurt someone this bad? Tell me! Why did you let her ruin you?"
She didn't say anything. This just made me even more upset.
"Why didn't you tell me anything about this? It must've been so hard seeing her all the time! I should've been there for you. I feel like a moron for not knowing." I slammed my fist onto the counter.
I'm not usually someone to get aggressive fast, but something in me just couldn't stand the fact her ex is Redy. Was it because I always thought she's a nice girl? I don't even know.
At this point, the music stopped, as homesick was the last track on the playlist. We stood in silence for some time. Bada grabbed my hand and intertwined it with hers, subtly rubbing her thumb over it. I looked down at our hands, then back up at her. I didn't notice the tears falling from my eyes.
"Listen to me, okay?" Bada said as firmly as she could. I nodded, and mentally prepared for what she was going to say next.
"I didn't tell you before because I knew you would be too worried. Please believe me when I say that seeing her now doesn't hurt as much. And that is thanks to you. I understood my worth. I don't know how someone like her got me so twirled around her fingers. I'm telling you this to show you that first, I have grown from this relationship with you and I have never felt better, and second, that if anyone ever brings up my relationship with Redy, you won't feel betrayed or like I didn't tell you because of some stupid reason."
She stopped talking after finally letting out everything. I felt so doleful to know that the person who caused her so much pain is also the person on the same show as us.
"Bada.. I don't know what to say.. First of all, thank you for telling me. I know it's hard for you. Using the song to describe your feelings is so good, you're starting to be able to open up more. I'm glad to see that." I fell quiet for a moment. "And about Redy.."
I stopped and shot up a look.
She shook her head knowingly and I sighed. "I'm sorry baby. You must feel disappointed that I didn't tell you sooner.." She said with concern.
I shushed her. "Why would I be mad at you? Why would you apologize? Redy is the one who gaslighted everyone!" I said in a firm tone, exaggerating Redy's name. She has to count her days because I'm about to be standing beside her bad at night.
I calmed down and breathed in deeply. I attempted to lighten up the mood after this sad yet meaningful moment. "Anyway. The story of the song reminding you of me is generally very sweet. Have you always been this romantic?" She chuckled at my remark.
"Right? I don't know. You just scream wave to earth." She giggled.
I'm glad she's back to smiling now after telling me everything.
I hugged her and gave her a kiss. She slowly deepened it. I laughed into the kiss and pushed her away. "Not after a deep conversation! Are you out of your mind? Get some ice cream and cuddle me instead. I want to spend quality time with you and comfort you."
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Hello everyone!! I hope you like my story so far.
Please do feel free to give me some feedback.
Also, quick question: Should the angsty part be rather fast or slow and detailed? I have some drama planned. Let me know what you would prefer!! Thank you💗
