A/n: these are just her thoughts over the months. I didn't wanna do a big time skip without mentioning something about her healing journey
Month one
Huma hatun the kalfa who has been taking care of me, suggested that I start writing my thoughts down, I've decided to do in monthly instead of daily.
I arrived and got settled down quite nicely. The kalfas and agha's were kind and already knew of my situation. Ibrahim most have told them.
Ayse hatun stayed until I had finished unpacking and told me that she would write to me whenever she had the opportunity to. We were taught that ordinary concubines were not allowed to write letters unless given leave first. But I'm guessing that Ibrahim most have helped us write to each other since I've received at least three letters from her and my own have reached her.
My face is ugly, so ugly that I wear a veil as soon as I've finished washing up and only take it off when I'm going to bed. Huma hatun said to let my wounds 'breath' but I refused. Such a ugly face should be hidden until healed.
The valide was still doubtful in the belief that I'd heal so she personally hired a physician to take care of my wounds and the physician apparently would inform the valide of my progress as well as Ibrahim.
I haven't gotten news of Alexandra yet but I'm Curious of how she is. Has she noticed my absence or is pleased that I have left .
The last time we spoke was when I visited her out of bitterness. I told her that her heart was ugly and in turn she told me to cover my face. Her ptince would get scared looking at me she said.
Month two
Mahidevran sultan fell out of favour since she had mistreated alex. The sultan rejects her at every turn. But the valide and Ibrahim support her firmly.
Hurrem from what I've heard had been alone only having nigar kalfa as a companion. She had Esme too but that was out of duty not love.
Ayse had said that the sultan didn't know of what happened to me, Ibrahim had informed him that I was sent to the old palace by the valide for other services.
My face is healing but not as quickly as I hoped. It was taking its sweet time and I was growing impatient.
The ointment was applied twice a day by huma hatun since I had grown to only trust her. She was my only support other than ayse it seemed.
I have nightmares of what had happened. My own screams mock me, I've grown used to waking up in a cold sweat with wet cheeks. It's like a part of my routine.
Month three
I hate her! How could she have such a good time while I'm suffering? I'll make her regret this!
Month four
A woman who writes prayers came to the palace on the request of Alexandra. She wanted the sultan only for herself and wanted to become the valide.
Did she really love the sultan or the power it makes me think as I hear about her wishes. Without the sultans love she is nothing but another woman. But with it she can have whatever she wants.
nigar had requested that the women write prayers for me as well. So I can heal and thrive once more. They arrived a few days ago and I have felt some peace.
My face has made progress and the physician had told the valide. The valide said she would visit me this week. She was still in doubt I see.
Month five
Alexandra is pregnant, how lucky. I'm sat here suffering due to her and she's there living like a queen.
I've heard that the harem still has no love for her and that she hasn't picked out a new maide for she fears that her enemies target her more easily. Instead she had only Esme who I have resived a letter from.
Esme wished me well and sent her prayers and support. She had said that hurrem had asked nigar about me but no information was given. Good let her think of what happened. She should be regretting her actions.
She is the reason for my nightmares and fear of poison. I still remember the way I had stopped breathing for a second due to thinking that my pillow was poisoned. I ended up sleeping without it.
Month six
My face has healed! My face has healed. Oh I could cry in joy and happiness. My face is back. The physician will inform the valide immediately and I will write more when news comes
(Two weeks later)
I will be going back to the next month, Ibrahim is to collect me on the first day of the next month in the afternoon.
month seven
I'm going back to the palace tomorrow, I'll rewrite my destiny I swear. Alexandra I'm coming.
YOU ARE READING
sweet seduction
Historical FictionI was you're friend until you treated me as if I was dirt under your foot, but I swear I'll be the demon in your worst nightmares. you will not have a day in peace while I breath
