Kaytlyn Burke's writing experiences

Vivy's inner mind (Short story)

Date Written: November 3rd, 2023

3rd person POV

      This is the story of a young woman by the name of Vivy. Vivy is a young woman with blue hair who is still in highschool. Vivy is very quiet around people, and she had trouble verbally speaking with others. She doesn't trust a lot of people, but the ones that she does trust she keeps at an arm's length in fear of losing them. Vivy may appear to be happy, but if you really knew her thoughts on everything then you would see that all her smiles and laughs are lies. Let's have a look inside the mind of Vivy.

       Why is everything so hard? I want to talk to people and make "real friends", but in my view everyone is just an acquaintance. I laugh and smile with someone I call a friend, but those are just a facade to protect myself. I hate closing myself off like this, but it's better this way. When in school and we are given a group assignment it's hard to work together when you can't even speak in an audible volume. Whenever I go to speak it comes out in a mumble, and the majority of the time when I try to speak up... it feels as if my chest is being squeezed like a fruit. It's tight and restricting... it makes me so frustrated because I feel useless and incapable of being unable to help my team. They converse among themselves, but never actually look back on me till the end.

       So many negative mantras repeat in my head over and over again. "You are a burden to everyone around you" or "You are useless" are the ones that I know are not true. I often find myself overwhelmed and I go into an anxiety attack. When that happens nobody notices. That leads to another mantra. "Nobody cares." I know for a fact that people do care, because I have been shown so much love and kindness. During my attacks it feels like my chest is going to pop... I have trouble breathing, and I can't speak out at all! My mind goes into a frenzied state, and all I hear is a constant ringing like static in my head. I have ways to help this. Music in my ears is one way that helps, and another is earplugs. I have earplugs in my ears a lot of the time because it helps muffle the thoughts and ringing in my head. I can still hear my teacher through them, so I believe it is not a problem.