Chapter 23. A new Era

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13 September 2021

Like we had planned, Lucy stayed over last week. Due to her picking up an injury, she didn't need to be present during training at Manchester, so she came over to be with me. Which was highly needed because our relationship was still a work in progress. And I can tell you, this week helped massively. It helped us so much we even had sex for the first time again.

Leah often teased me about me not getting the relief I needed. It was frustrating not to be able to express my love for Lucy physically, but we were both cautious, not wanting to rush into things. Even though we know each other's desires well, we wanted to respect our boundaries. However, when it finally happened, it felt like we were discovering each other all over again.

Leah immediately saw the change in my behaviour, she could mock us all she wanted, but I was relieved we finally got to this point. We are now truly back in a relationship.

During the week Sarina Wiegman also called up her first England Lionesses squad. Normally like we are used to, we would receive an email with information about our selection for the squad. Sometimes there were exceptions like if you have already been part of the team or really close to become a part and you didn't make it this time, there was a chance you would get a call. Sarina decided to call everybody who got selected and who didn't.

She wants to make this whole experience more personal, recognizing we are more than just athletes. That we are people with human feelings and not machines who can shut off emotions. I was thrilled she acknowledged this and aims to get to know the team on a personal level. All the girls within the team deserve to be seen by their manager.

In my case, it was another unique situation. Sarina has always been like an aunt to me, always attending my birthday parties when I was younger and helping me improve my footballing skills in the back garden.

I was the first player she called to deliver the news I made the team. We talked about how I was doing and whether I wanted to do something special in my parents honour during the home game of the qualifiers. We decided to discuss it further with the whole team, for ideas.

Leah also made the squad and Lucy, who needed more rest and will miss this camp, helped us pack our bags. Even with the three of us packing was chaotic, as it always is in our household. We are not as organized as you might think. I believe Lucy even was the one who reminded us we needed to pack, with our departure for camp being the next day.

A driver is currently taking us to the hotel where we will be staying during this first camp under our new boss. Lucy is now making the drive back to Manchester, leaving her behind was not easy. Especially since I looked forward to this day but also dreaded it so much. I can't shake the thought my parents would have been present on this day too. Sarina will now be standing there with other people around her and not with my two-favourite people by her side. To be fair I think for her it's just as hard. She trusted them with her life and they are not there anymore to support her.

Thinking about it makes my eyes water. Leah notices the sadness visible in my gaze. "They are watching from above, I promise." She reassures me, taking my hand in hers and squeezes it gently. Her ability to always understand me so well and immediately offer comfort makes me truly appreciate her as a friend. Her soothing words help me see the beauty in the situation. My parents might not be physically present, but they are always with me. Were my heart is going, they follow.

The social media team wants to film all the players arrive at the hotel. They even considered giving everyone different time slots, to film every player separately meeting Sarina. It makes sense since, for most of the players, this is their first in-person encounter with her. They have seen her on the screen and on the side-line, managing the Netherlands, but never spoken to her one-on-one.

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