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__________ c h a p t e r f i f t y - t w o
Bianca was ninety percent sure she'd never want to take another road trip in her life after this. Nine hours spent in the back of a pizza van was enough to drive anyone crazy.
All she wanted was a shower, a comfortable bed, and a meal. Maybe a hairbrush, too.
Finally, they end up at Suzie's address, stretching as they get out of the car.
"Can't feel my butt. Can you guys feel your butts?" Argyle questions mid-stretch.
"I can feel my butt."
"My butt is fine, now let's go," Bianca hurries them up the driveway.
"Everyone needs to be on their best behavior, okay?" Jonathan announces, glancing directly at his best friend.
"Why are you looking at me when you say that?" Argyle chuckles.
"Isn't it obvious?" Bianca chuckles.
"I didn't," Jonathan stammers.
"He totally did," she whispers.
"They're just super religious," Mike explains.
"I'm super spiritual, dude," Argyle attempts to defend himself.
"Yeah, I think they're spiritual too, just... in a different way," Mike shrugs, knocking on the door.
As soon as it opens, they're met with a small child in war paint and holding a bow and arrow, which he shoots directly at Mike's forehead.
"Oh, that's..." Bianca tilts her head, popping the suction cup off of Mike's face. "Hey, you need to work on your form, mysterious child!"
"Thank you," Mike rubs his forehead, walking in.
The house was in complete disarray, with children yelling and running around in seemingly every corner.
For example, on the dining table stood two kids in a sword fight, shouting Elvan insults at one another.
"You elf-skin! You dried neat's tongue!"
"This is my kind of party," Argyle nods in approval.
"I thought Suzie was Mormon," Bianca whispers to Mike and Will. "Is this how Mormons are?"
"I have no idea."
In the next room was a girl pretending to be dead as a boy records her, applauding, "Beautiful performance!"
"Excuse me?" Jonathan taps the "director." "Uh, hey, we're looking for Suzie."
The little boy then snaps in annoyance, mocking him. "Can you... not see... that we are filming?"
"Okay," Bianca leads them to the kitchen, coming up on two kids way too young to be doing whatever they were at the stove.
