My Obsession

Chapter 4.

The car ride is lighter on the way home than it was on the way to the party. Bailey and Bellamy laughing together over how drunk Brooke is and me making fun of her for it.

We drop Brooke off first all of us getting out to help her into her apartment and handing her over to her roommate. Once she's safe we head to drop Bailey off. My nerves are shot at this point and I've tried to disassociate and stare out the window but I can't ignore Bellamy's presence that easy.

"Bye I love you. You kids get home safe." Bailey exclaims with a wink as she hops out of the truck.

By this point I've been moved to the passenger seat. The truck is pretty spacious but right now I feel like it couldn't be any smaller. I can feel Bellamy's body heat from my seat and just being that close to him makes my heart race.

He pulls out of Baileys driveway and heads towards mine. The silence feeling heavier by the second. It's an extremely short drive considering she's only a few houses away. I close my eyes and take a deep breath preparing to just get out as soon as Bellamy pulls into my driveway. Hoping to avoid the conversation that I've been avoiding for three weeks.

He pulls in slowly putting his truck in park. I quickly reach for the door handle but he grabs my hand faster. Fuck. I think to myself.

"Addy I called...why haven't you talked to me?" Bellamy ask as he rest our intertwined hands on my lap.

"Bellamy w..we just can't do this." I say as I take my hand back from him.

Getting involved with Bellamy can't be taken lightly. He's not the type of guy to settle down for long. He's a player. We've been friends for years and I've seen girls come and go. Each one more broken hearted than the next.

"Maybe you're right. We can't." Bellamy says in a low monotone voice. He presses the unlock button and gestures towards the handle.

I go to speak but nothing comes out. I grab the handle get out of the truck and stand in front of the door for just a moment in hopes he might say something else. With no luck I close the door and slowly walk into my still abandoned home.

———

"Could you lift a little higher Bailey you're barely helping." I moan out as I try to move the couch into our new apartment.

"Ugh I'm sorry it's heavy!" She whines out but thankfully lifts a little harder.

"These six days really flew by didn't they!" She says as we finally get the couch in the right spot and plop down on it.

I nod in agreement before I take a moment to look around and enjoy my new home. The brick walls and dark wood floors perfectly complement each other. The widows provide the perfect amount of light.  It's a beautiful open concept so the kitchen and living room are in the same room but perfectly placed to make it feel like two different rooms.

Bailey and I both have our own bathrooms in our rooms. Our rooms are exactly the same just across from each other. The layout is perfect for us. I love it.

"Let's throw a party." Bailey shoots up and says.

"A party?" I ask.

"Yeah just invite a few people and have a mini party to christen the apartment." She says her voice an octave higher from excitement.

"As long as my only job is to show up." I say as I roll my eyes and sink further into the couch.

"Addy what's wrong? You've been weird the past few days." She points out my shit mood.

"It's nothing I've just been in my head." I lie.

"Addy please just tell me. Whatever it is I can help." She whines as she pulls me into her chest as she sits back down.

With no energy to lie I confess. I tell her everything no details left out.

"Wait. So you've wanted to get with him for years and then when it finally happens you both chicken out?" She ask while rubbing her forehead with her fingertips.

"Ugh! It's not that simple. I didn't chicken out. I don't mean anything to him. I can't let this happen. I was happy admiring him from afar. He couldn't hurt me from there." I say as an overwhelming sadness takes over me.

"I don't know what to say. Addy what do you want?" She ask while placing her hands over mine.

What do I want? When I'm near Bellamy my stomach flutters, my heart races, and my mind runs wild. Everything about him draws me in. Yet I know better. It would never end well.

But what if it did?