My Obsession

Chapter 10.

My mind is racing as Bellamy drives us away from the bar. The truck is awkwardly quiet.

"Where are we going?" I finally speak up.

"Your apartment." He says blankly.

I nod in response and continue my trance out the window. I'm relieved when we arrive at my apartment. I'm just ready to escape the suffocating air of this truck.

Bellamy parks the truck and I immediately hop out rushing towards my apartment. I get to the door and pull out my keys trying to unlock the door before Bellamy can catch up to me. I'm too slow.

"Adaway stop." Bellamy begs as he places his hand over the door handle blocking me from continuing to unlock it. The way he says my name makes me shiver.

He raises his hand. I flinch and step back.

"Addy, I wouldn't hurt you." He says as his hand continues and pushes a stray hair from my face. I sigh and roll my eyes at myself.

"I know." I sigh. Stepping closer to him completely closing the space between us. He moves his hand to the back of my head and into my hair. Gently pulling at it.

"Do you think Blake's okay?" I ask quietly leaning into his chest. Blake was being an ass he deserved what he got but I'm more concerned for Bellamy.If Blake's not okay it could cause problems.

"Fuck him." Bellamy states blankly.

"Bell..he hit his head hard. You could've killed him." I state as I pick my head up off his chest and lean back to look in his eyes again. The bright blue in his eyes is darker than usual. I can see his anger.

"Good." He confidently says. "I don't want anyone that close to you ever Adaway." His tone is dark and seductive as he speaks.

He wraps his arms around my waist swiftly picking me up and wrapping my legs around him. Pushing my back against the cold apartment door. Our lips connect and all the actions of tonight have disappeared. It's just me and Bellamy in this moment.

He puts my legs down gently removing his lips from mine. Making a small whimper leave my mouth in response.

"Goodnight Addy." Bellamy says softly before turning away and walking back to his truck.

As I finally get the door unlocked Bailey shows up just in time and follows behind me into the apartment. We both quietly walk over to the couch and sit down next to each other. Bailey leans over and lays her head down in my lap.

"So." She says slowly.

"So." I say back with the same tone.

"How do you feel?" Bailey ask as she looks up at me from my lap.

"I feel like that was scary and hot. But mostly scary." I say blankly back to her. My emotions are all over the place.

Bellamy's aggressive behavior rubbed me the wrong way. I've never liked any kind of violence. I grew up watching my mom push boundaries with my dad sometimes going too far and hurting him or me in the process. Seeing Bellamy act in such a familiar way scared me.

I want to give myself up completely to him. I want to trust him. But for years he's done crazy things and hurt me over and over again. It didn't matter when we were friends but now..Now it matters so much. It doesn't help that Bellamy has learned that I'm quick to swoon over him. Giving into his every word and touch.

But there's another side of me that is only grateful for Bellamy's strong actions. Saving the day yet again. Throughout our friendship Bellamy has always protected me never in such a violent way but always as a friend. Me and Bellamy's new dynamic has made sorting my emotions for him so hard.

I want him but I'm still so scarred to have him.

"Do you think I made a mistake Bailes?" I ask her hesitantly.

"Addy..I can't help you make that decision. I mean I think you really love him.." She says trailing off at the end.

"But could he ever really love me?" I ask not expecting an answer.

"Come on. Let's go to bed you can sleep on it." Bailey says as she stands up from the couch grabbing my hands. She walks me to my room then goes to her own.

I strip my tight body suit off me and lay in bed. Staring up at my ceiling fan like I always do to help me drift off to sleep. It works quickly.

———

I make up the next day and my mind is still foggy from last night. I roll over and grab my phone off the night stand to check the time. Somehow I've managed to sleep until twelve. I notice I have a text and I go to check it.

"Good morning Adaway." The text from Bellamy says. Sent at nine am this morning. My thumb hovers over his name. I decide quickly not to respond. I'm still not sure how I feel about last night and I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to him.

I need to take a step back. I've become consumed by Bellamy too quickly. I've let my body and heart take control. I haven't been thinking straight.

I sigh as I roll out of bed walking to the bathroom to take a shower. As I get in the shower the warm water falls over my body instantly releasing some of the stress.  I take my time in the shower hoping to escape my reality for as long as possible.

I get out of the shower and throw some boxers and an over sized band tee on. I step out of my room when the smell of pizza hits my nose.

As I entered the kitchen I am greeted by Bailey sitting on our kitchen island. Still looking pretty as ever with her messy hair and oversized tie-dye shirt and a box of Little Caesars Pizza in her lap.

"You save me a piece?" I ask with a smirk as I walk up to her and steal the box off her lap.

"Hey that's mine!" She says with a fake whine.

"Yeah yeah now it's mine too." I exclaim with a giggle.

After a few moments of silence while both of us enjoy our pizza Bailey finally speaks up.

"So..how are you feeling after sleeping on it?" She ask slowly.

I take a bite of pizza right as she ask in hopes to delay answering her. I finally swallow my bite and take a deep breath. Making up my mind right then.

"I'm just going to take a step back." I say quickly.

"Step back?" Bailey says as she snatches the pizza box back from me. Almost making her fall off the island. We both pause to laugh at her clumsiness.

"Anyways. Step back? How so?" Bailey ask again pushing me to open up.

"I think it's best if we just don't have sex for starters. After we had sex at the water fall I felt like that's all he really cares for. Not that he acts like it. But he's Bellamy.." I slowly trail off as all the shit memories I have from the few years I was friends with Bellamy replay in my mind.

"It is hard to imagine him in a committed anything." Bailey mumbles out with her mouth full.

"Gross." I say as I roll my eyes. "I just know that I need to take things extremely slow with him. I could get lost in him so easily.." I trail off again.