Nobody Cares. (One Direction Fan Fiction)

From Dreams to Reality

{Belle's POV}

I sat frozen in my chair that's positioned in front of my desk. My eyes couldn't leave that tweet. It's been retweeted 2,104 times.

How did everyone figure that out?

The tears poured out of my eyes but I didn't bother wiping them away. A pen isn't going to work this time.

Without realising what I was doing I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I didn't even acknowledge how amazing this bathroom is because before I knew it the razor was in my hand. My hand started to shake as I clutched the plastic device.

I can't do this.

If I do it'll hurt Rose, Joseph, Stewart, Leah, Juliet, Klark, the boys, and maybe the girls. This is just what those haters want. And I'm not going to give it to them.

But the comments still sting. Very badly, I want to scrape the metal blades against my skin. I squeezed the razor before dropping it into the sink.

I stared at my reflection hating it more with each second that passes by. It disgust me how I look. My brown curly hair pulled back into a bun on the top of my head. Black glasses sitting on my nose, hiding my boring brown eyes. Just like the fans said disgusting.

"What are you looking at?" I asked my reflection as the tears continued to pour. "I hate you!" I snarled.

All I want to do is punch the mirror so it will go away.

Without thinking, I did. The glass shattered around me, falling onto the sink and floor with a low crashing sound.

Everything seemed to freeze around me. My body froze and all I could do was stare at the broken mirror in front of me.

That's when I felt the searing pain coming from my right hand. My shaky hand rose up to my eyes. Thankfully only a few tiny pieces stuck into my hand.

I carefully pulled the pieces out, taking deep breaths when I felt the pain shoot through me. Once they were all out blood was covering both of my hands.

Not caring about the blood, I bent down and picked up each broken piece then tossed them into trash bin that's in between the sink and toilet.

Once I finished a sat with my back against the tub and stared at my bleeding hand. A bolt of lightning stuck, illuminating the bathroom for a short second then was followed by a crash of thunder. It didn't faze me though.

I've always loved rain. It calmed me. "1...2...3...4." I counted in a whisper but stopped once I heard another crash of thunder. Whenever there was a storm I'd comfort Scott during the night by counting how long it'd take between each strike of thunder. I'd do it until he would fall asleep.

As I counted I kept my eyes on my fist. The blood continued slowed down, so I guess this is a good time to clean it.

When I finished the rain continued to hit the window, thunder would crash every so often, and lightning would light the room.

I crawled back into bed the exhaustion from what happened suddenly hit me. I looked at the digital clock on my bedside table and saw it was 4:56. A sigh escaped from my mouth as I placed my glasses next to the clock.

Once I closed my eyes I didn't feel tired anymore. Begrudgingly I opened my eyes and stared at my fist. There's small scars on my knuckles. With a little makeup they wouldn't be noticeable.

I continued to count while listening to the rain as my eyes started to close. Even with my eyes closed I continued to whisper the numbers as if Scott can hear me. Soon enough I fell asleep.

***

I woke up to the sound of rain making that pitter patter sound against my window. My eyes slowly opened and fixed onto the clock. 9:21. Not to early, not to late.

I rolled over and let out a frustrated sigh as I remember what happened early this morning. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. Maybe the boys didn't hear what happened.

With a groan I crawled out of bed and put on my glasses. I walked over to my closet and my eyes widened. It's a walk in, like a huge one. There's so many clothes! Holy crap!

I found a few hoodies on the hangers and tossed one on. It's one that says "Liam Girl" on it.

I trudged down the two flights of stairs then made my way towards the kitchen. Everyone was sitting around the table laughing and smiling. The only people missing were the girls. I gave Liam a confused look as I sat next to Niall. "The girls all had something to do." I nodded as Harry placed a plate of eggs in front of me. I smiled at him as he sat down across from me.

"Did anyone else here that crash last night?" I froze mid-chew as Harry asked that. Nobody seemed to notice my hesitation so I continued to eat. The boys chorused no. "Belle, did you hear it?" I pulled my sleeve over my right hand whilst shaking my head no.

Bravely, I looked up to meet Harry's eyes. His eyes are expression less. "Can you help me bring the tea in cupcake?" Harry asked while nodding to the kitchen. I nodded and walked off following him.

Once the door shut behind us he turned towards me. "I saw." He stated while leaning against the counter. I didn't reply, I'm to scared.

What did he mean by he saw? Did he see all of it? Or just some of it?

He sighed then took a step towards me. I took one back. "Belle." He breathed out. But all I did was shake my head and bite my lip.

"Belle." He said flatly while taking another step forwards. Like the last time I took a step back. It continued like this until my back hit the counter.

I watched as his hand rose from his side. My heart beat started to pick up. "Zayn!" I screamed at the top of my lungs before he could do anything else.

As the door swung open my breathing became short and quick and my eyes widened. "What's going on?" Zayn asked harshly. I was expecting Harry to hit me, but instead his hand grabbed mine. He lifted it up then pulled back my sleeve so the small scars were showing.

"I was watching Belle." He sighed. I slid my back down against the cupboards until I hit the floor. Harry sat in front of me and kept his hand in mine. "I walked in when you sat against the tub." He whispered so only I could hear him.

I took a shaky breath, waiting for him to continue. "I didn't know what to do. All I could do was watch." It's just like the dream. Is everything that happens in my dreams going to happen in reality?

"Why though?" He continued to whisper. I didn't dare move my vision towards the boys standing near us. "I had a nightmare and woke up. So I went on twitter because I wanted to see what people were saying." I stopped and took a breath to make sure he was listening. My eyes fixated onto Harry's.

"The hate. It- it- hurt so much. They found out. About everything. From the cutting to the suicide attempt." I shuddered from the word as the tears started to pour down my cheeks. Harry wrapped his arms me and pulled into him. I cried into his chest and fisted up the back of his shirt in my hands. "I was going to cut, but I didn't. I stood in front of the mirror hating everything I saw. So I broke it." I continued to sob as be rubbed circles in my back.

"Don't listen to them. They're just jealous." He spoke into my ear. My tears stopped from his response. I pushed myself out of his hug earning a confused look.

"I'm tired of hearing they're jealous! Just because they're jealous doesn't mean they should insult me! They know about everything! Everything is going to get worse! I wish I died! This wouldn't be happening. I'd be dead!" Everyone was shocked from my outburst. I was to, I've never yelled like that before.

I could feel all of their eyes on me. So I did the next I could think of. I ran upstairs to my room and locked the door.

I ran to my bed and cried my eyes out. I cried for all the times my mom yelled at me, for all of the hate, for everything. I cried until my eyes were dry and the soft sound of the rain drew me to sleep.