𝑻𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 || ✔️ || BOOK 1

Flashing Memories

CHAPTER 25

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Everyday, the same thing keeps happening to me.

I wake up and immediately Im in denial with my true feelings towards Void, and I insist that I was just lonely, and that I dont actually love him. Then, as the day goes on, I finally admit how I really feel about him, and I try my hardest to find him, and talk to him cause that's all I want to do.

Void is usually the first thing I think of the minute I open my eyes in the morning. However, it was different this morning.

My first thought was my father.

Today was my mom's birthday, and usually the whole family would get together and go ice skating. It definitely was a tradition in the family, but I specifically remember one year, me and my dad would race all around the rink, which really annoyed all the people around us who would have preferred not to almost get pushed.

I rolled over in my bed, and pulled the blankets over my face, wanting to forget about all those memories. Even though I did love my father, there was always something between us that was bumpy. We could never fix that between us, I am someone who is very bad with communication and telling how I really feel. And I'm always ashamed of that, while my dad always wanted an answer from me right away, which caused arguments almost every day.

I just knew that my mom was going to be very emotional today, and I couldn't handle that on top of my own issues. I always wanted to make my father proud, but it felt like he wasn't satisfied with any of the things I've done for his approval and happiness. Daniel never had a problem with that.

"Y/N, what have you even done around the house? Your getting lazier and lazier!" Dad raises his voice now, his veins popping up a bit more, he wanted an answer from me, but I didn't know what to tell him. I was too tired to do all this again, I couldn't.

It wasn't laziness. I knew that, but he didn't. My depression was just starting to get better, and they still expect more and more of me. I dont even think they've noticed I started becoming a bit happier.

So I decided not to say any more. Any answer that I would have given my father would never had satisfied him. And before he died, I never understood really how much I loved him and how much I wanted to make him happy and make him proud.

But it was too late.

Oh, take me back, to a time where everything was happier.

* * *

VOID'S POV:

It was a Saturday afternoon, and I finally decided that I had to let myself love y/n, even if it will hurt me in the end. I was tired of pushing her away from me, and when she kissed me while I was trying to apologize, I felt like she really meant it. Cause when we had slept together, I knew that she was just stalling. But I didn't care at the time. I just wanted her. I wanted to see all of her. But it all happened too fast, I couldn't really enjoy y/n at that moment.

I was on my way to y/n's house, I had to see her, it had felt like eternity since I've last seen her. I knew though that if we hang out to often, I will want the chaos, the strife, and even the pain. I hate to admit it, but that scared me. I didn't want to hurt y/n, but I knew for a fact that it will happen sooner or later.

And that was the only reason as to why I was trying my best to push y/n away, but I was never able to.

I had to have her.

* * *

Y/N'S POV:

I had finally gotten out of my bed, and I quickly changed into a hoodie and leggings. I tried my best to push all the memories of my father out of my head, but it made it so hard when I started to hear my mom cry from her bedroom. I sighed, I couldn't think of all this, all at the same time that the pack wants to kill me. I decided to walk away from my mother's bedroom, she was the type of person to cry alone. She never wanted anyone there for comfort, it was best I leave her alone.