Ashes in the Snow

Twenty-Two

I don't remember much of how I left the arena. I was out of my mind. What I do remember is that they had a helicopter come and pick me up. I was covered in blood; my clothes, my hands, my face, even my hair was covered in it.

They brought me to my living quarters. The peacekeepers escorted me inside and stood in front of the elevator like they did before. I walk upstairs and go into my bedroom. I walk into the bathroom and try to remove my clothes. My clothes are suction cupped to me because of the blood, but I'm able to get them off. I stare at myself in the full length mirror. My skinny body; looking bony and hungry. My hair is long and snarly. My face with dried blood. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I look over into the bedroom and see a pair of scissors one of the costume designers left behind. I walk into the bedroom and grab the scissors and walk back into the bathroom. I look at the mirror above the sink and take the scissors, snipping off my hair. I cut and cut until I look like a different person. My hair is down to my shoulders now instead of my waist. I look down and see all the hair in the sink and on the floor.

I step into the shower and let the hot water consume me. I wash my hair and watch the blood and some hair wash down the drain. I wash my body and scrub the blood off, especially in my fingernails. The hot water makes me feel like a person again, but I still feel like a monster. I don't know if that will ever go away.

I put some pajamas on and lay in bed. The bed feels like I'm on cloud nine. My body is finally able to relax again. I didn't realize how tense my body has been until now. I'm sore all over from how tense I've been.

————

I wake up startled from the knock on my door. I look and it's a maid with a tray full of food.

"This is for you," the maid says, setting it on my lap.

"Thank you," I say.

The maid walks out, shutting the door. I devour everything on the tray, filling the void in my stomach. I decide to put some tv on. I grab the remote turning the flatscreen on. The first thing that comes on is Caesar and his show. Coriolanus is also sitting next to him.

"So Mr. Snow, how does it feel to know your tribute won the hunger games?" Caesar asks.

"It feels great. I'm glad she survived it, I never doubted her for a second." Coriolanus says.

"Look at this mentor! Having so much faith in his tribute. Everyone loves this guy!"

I can hear the crowd whistling and applauding. Everyone loves Coriolanus. He's getting everything he's ever wanted.

Snow lands on top.

"What were your thoughts on how brutal this year's games were?" Caesar asks.

"I thought this was the most brutal games in history," Coriolanus answers.

"I believe you're right. In all the games I've seen, which is all of them, this one was the most brutal games I've ever seen. So personal too. What were your thoughts when your tribute won?"

"I was thinking about how happy I was. I felt relief."

"And can you believe it? Cannibals?" Caesar laughs.

I turn off the tv, unable to finish the rest. I can't listen to it, to any of it. I don't want to remember any of it.

————

I am woken up by the maid who comes in.

"Ma'am, your train leaves in one hour. The peacekeepers will escort you when you're ready."

She walks back out and I sit on the bed, lost in thought. I get up and get changed into some tan fuzzy pants and a black long sleeve top. I have nothing to pack. I didn't have the chance to bring anything with me, not that I had much in the first place.

The peacekeepers escort me to the train station. I hop on the train and take a seat next to the window. I sit here for a good fifteen minutes before I hear someone announce, "train leaves in one minute." I look out the window one last time, saying goodbye to the Capitol. Then that's when I see someone who looks familiar. Someone in black dress pants, a white dress shirt with a black vest, and a red rose boutonnière.

Coriolanus.

We make eye contact. Two lost souls who found each other again. I can see the sadness in his eyes. The train slowly starts to leave and we continue to look into each other's eyes until we no longer see each other.

Goodbye Coriolanus.