His Little Sunshine || PJM

✧ Part 13 ✧

" Taehyung... Why... Why Taehyung. "

She cried her heart out while resting her head down on the floor and was continuously hitting her fist on the floor.
She lifted up her head while sniffing on her tears and she started hiccuping while her face was all wet with tears and her eyes were burning in pain then she speak to herself in a low voice

" Appa will kill you or not... But wallahi I'm not going to leave you alive Kim Taehyung."

She wiped her tears with the back of her palm and nodded her head " yes... Yes you have to pay for doing all of this Kim Taehyung... You have to pay for every tear my Appa shed because of your nonsense... I'm gonna kill you damn it. "

She again started crying while holding her shirt close to her chest while closing her eyes tightly and again cried her heart out while saying " how can I respond back... Allah... Please forgive me ya Allah... How can I do this... How can I become so blind aghhhh... "

She cried while laying on the floor in low whimpers for a long time then she saw it was Duhar prayer time and then she heard the door of her room knocked and Hezlin called her name

" Sunshine... What are you doing in your room since morning come out don't you wanna eat anything? " She got up to sit and wiped her tears while she speak in a little louder voice " Eomma... I'm coming let me offer my Salah. "

Hezlin left from there after asking her to join them for lunch and Mishel got up from the floor then she walked towards the bathroom and decided to take a shower while she looked in the mirror at her reflection and said to herself " I've to wash all of this filth over my body, his scent, his sensation his memories everything. "

She took a proper Ghusal and came out of the bathroom while changing into her fresh pink sweatshirt and trousers and wore her scarf then she spread her prayer mat and stood there while facing the Qibla.

She stared at the top of the prayer mat silently for a while then she closed her eyes and speak in her heart

" Today I'm standing here for something I never wanted... Yes Allah today I'm standing here to make me forget him... To make him take out of my heart just like he never existed... Grant me strength to stick to my decision grant me strength to give lesson to those who did wrong to me."

She opened her eyes and took a deep breath then she speak in a little louder voice as she started her salah
" AllahuAkbar. "

She was silently crying during her whole Salah and in every Sajdah she was repeating the same words
" Forgive me ya Rabbi... I fell for the wrong one... Free my heart from his filthy love... Forgive my sin please. "

She completed her Salah and raised up her hands to make dua she closed her eyes and her lips trembled then she speak in a shivering voice

" I'm feeling impious even I'm not but still haram passed through my throat, haram touched my body, haram feelings aroused in me for a na mehram... Ya Allah... Ya Rabbi please forgive me... I'm ashamed I'm so ashamed... You better know I didn't do all of this intentionally I can't even think about doing all of this still please forgive me.

She sniffed while crying and gulped down her saliva then she said

" My Appa... He's in pain... Please have mercy on him ya Allah, please have mercy on him don't make him go through the pain he can't endure please I beg you... If he's in pain because of me I will never give him pain I'll become strong just like he wanted please just please give a long and healthy life to my Appa... I'm nothing without his support... Please make my Appa strong again... Make my Appa my strength so I can face the world ya Allah please help me in my tough trial only you can heal my heart..
Please heal my heart and calm my soul ya Rabbi please heave mercy on us. "