There were million little reasons to not love him,
And million little things that I despised now.
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Her:
Unwanted emotions,
I didn't want any of it, any of them.
From the outside, she seems adorned with all that glitters-wealth, celebrity, and...
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All my life, I have felt like I've been controlled by my mother and brother. Mainly my mother, my brother and my subconscious filled that part when she wasn't present.
From the smallest things like if I should have couple of biscuits in the evening when I wanted to eat something but stopped myself thinking how, when mom would found out she'd taunt me to endless, about adding weight or getting the possible chances of cancer.
To the biggest life decisions, who and when can I love someone. I had to ask myself what my mother would think if I had to even love myself the way I wanted to.
Whereas my brother became a pawn, he continued her legacy even after I became an adult, even after I moved out of the fucking house.
But still I love them, I still love my mother the most in this world.
And I never understood how.
Maybe because I knew that she tried, she really tried but couldn't stop herself. She really tried to stop herself from making me the perfect daughter but could never stop.
Maybe because I knew that Siddharth also tried, he tried to move past that phase where he hated me. For reasons I never came to know.
But once you're moulded into that matter, it's difficult to reform again. It's difficult to change the original system, plan, mentality, thinking— the list could go on.
I hated myself for hating how I tried to love myself the way my mom wanted me to, I hate myself that I forced myself to think that my brother could change.
I loved Dalhyun because I felt like I could love myself like the way I truly wanted, even though I knew that it would be break someday.
I knew I would've to pick the pieces myself, because there is no one who truly understood me.
I can say that I don't know who I am.
I knew they wouldn't anytime soon as I stared at the document in front of me with an agape mouth. I can't believe them.
Till now dad had been quiet, not participating in any scheming they plotted. But now that streak was broken.
The document in front of me was the proof.
Even if I was the head of the S family music labels, he was in the control at the end of the day and there was nothing I could do about it.
There was a knock on my cabin as I looked up to see my assistant, "ma'am Mr. Kim s here. He is waiting in the recording room for you."
Fucking hell.
I nodded as she bowed a bit and walked out closing the door behind her. Crunching up the official paper in my hand, I threw in the dustbin below my desk as I stood up, dusting the imaginary dust off my skirt.
You got this. You can do this.
I squared my shoulders, straightened my spin and looked ahead, at the door. One step at a time.
