Beautiful Ruins

XIII 》Euphoria.

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The heaviest thoughts we carry,
Are the thoughts
in our head.
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🌪Toviella🌪

We played our hearts out, and suprisingly, I played the most. Honestly, it felt good, reliving what childhood felt like, allowing yourself to be free for once. Not having to bother about life and its cruelty. For the first time in quite a while, I felt some kind of geninue happiness; an undiluted felicity.

I didn't let myself enjoy it that much though, because I knew it would be short-lived. Gone, as soon as it came.

After clearing our bills, we exited Sugar n' Ice, settling on a marbled surface, a few feets away from the confectionery. A well trimmed mini bush, sat in the middle of the square tiled surface, with a tree, that had only very few leaves on it.

The spot was beautiful, so Sekani decided to take pictures. I was the one taking the pictures for her, bending and tilting in abnormal ways just to make sure I got a perfect shot.

She struck different model-worthy poses, still sitting sleekly on the marbled platform while I shot and shot till she was contented. I came to sit next to her, showing her the pictures. She just smiled muttering "woah's" and "wows" as we went through them.

I decided that the last one was my favourite, as I took a little more time staring at it, than I had done to the others. In the picture, her hands were hoisted atop her head, holding lightly unto the hair band, wrapped around. Her brows thick, with slit eyes and well-coated lips, the evening ambience giving it a dulling effect, but still looked pretty anyways.

"Damn," I said, staring at the picture in awe. "Next dp loading o."

Sekani just smiled at my words, a proud look plastered on her face. "Tell me you're just kidding, it's not like I'm that fine seff."

I rolled my eyes in humour. "Yeah, right."

A playful scoff eluded her lips in response as she adjusted her body to a balanced position, resting her head on my shoulder. I adjusted too, tilting my shoulder down a bit so that she would be comfortable.

We stayed in a reposeful silence, her head still on my shoulder and my head resting lightly on hers as we stared at the galvanizing view that laid ahead of us.

The sunset.

The weather had cooled down now from it's former harshness, with the sky changing from second to second, from a warm orange to a cool pink as the gold disc slowing slipped behind a buiding very far away from us, it's rays waning exponentially.

There was just something about the sunset that calmed every single cell in my body. I remember as a little girl, everyday I would search for when the sun was likely to set in the weather forecast, so that I could watch it from my bedroom window.

It was a second therapy for me, and I couldn't help but wonder; what if the sun failed to rise one day? Then maybe, just maybe that would be the day I loose the remaining of my sanity.

"Sekani," I called  "Are you still alive?"

I noted from the gentle rising and falling of her chest, that she was laughing, ever so calmly. She looked up slightly, with a small smile spread across her face to look at me before going back to her former position.

"Of course I am." She said. "It's like you ate too much ice-cream, your brain might just be twerking."

I jolted my shoulder up, just a little, making her head quake up and back down, as a soft giggle escaped her lips again.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" I asked, pointing my chin towards the horizon.

She saw it, but being Sekani, she chose to ignore it, and asked instead. "You mean me?" She asked and without waiting for my response she continued. "Oh, I know. Thanks for reminding me though."

I couldn't help the laugh that erupted from my lips. "Yeah, you're most welcome."

This girl ehh.

Silence predominated the space again, a soft breeze whooshing past us, bits of sand rising in the air, twirling around. I let my gaze linger to it for a while, it was as if  it hypnotized me, my eyes following its enchanting circular movement.

"You know, I won't do anything intentionally to hurt you." I said. It was intended to be a question, but came out more like a statement.

She looked up at me again, her expression mixed with confusion and curiousity. "Yeah…?"

"And why is that?"

She peered at me blankly, as though in deep thought, which I presumed she was in. Then she spoke; "Because you love me. And you don't hurt people you love." She stated.

The smile on my face, I didn't know was existent, escalates to a chuckle, then to a chortle. "No, that's where you've got it all wrong."

Her brows knitted together at my words and a slight crease marred her forehead. "Wait, you don't love me?"

Dang it.

I plunged into a loud feat of laughter, then answered when my laughter had subsided. "Of course I do, I meant you're wrong in your other statement."

She looked at me expectantly, and I took that as a cue to continue. "You don't hurt only the people you hate, but both the ones you love also. Except that for the people you love, it usually is unintended. What I need you to understand is that, sometimes, people do really stupid things, it's in our nature as humans to make mistakes and those mistakes can result to a lot of damage, causing pain to our loved ones."

"Like when you tried to self-harm?"

A distant smile graced my lips at the memory. "Yes, exactly like that and I must admit, what I did was really stupid and I would've also gotten hurt if you didn't come at the time you did." I paused to check if she following. That curious look was still on her face, so I assumed she was, then continued. "That, is an example of mistakes people can make. I did that without thinking, and it would've affected us both and that is why I say sorry."

I saw no emotion in her eyes as I finished. She was just there staring at me, and suddenly, she bursted out laughing.

If confused was a person right now, it would be me.

"So you just made all this lovey dovey speech just to say sorry," She choked out, still laughing hysterically. "That's why you'll forever remain Oga Einstein."

I stared at her in shock, utter shock, completely speechless.

"Anyhoo, I am touched. Truly touched." She placed a hand on her chest, I couldn't tell if she was actually serious or if she was feigning, but the admiration that flickered through her eyes made me believe the latter. "Thank you for apologizing and although you already did, this is the only one I'm truly accepting." She said, going back to resting her head on my shoulder.

"Mum would be so proud of the woman you're growing to become." Her voice was in a whisper, almost inaudible as she brought my hand closer, cupping it in hers.

I looked down at it, a euphoric feeling of warmth and contention enveloping my being. Tightening my hold on her hand, I closed my eyes, resting my head on hers, allowing the visage of a certain woman to invade my thoughts.