Bruised Soul

Theo

I hesitate for no more than a beat before my arms act of their own accord and return her embrace.

"What are you doing?" I whisper.

"I don't know." She admits. "It just felt right. Do you want me to let go?"

I fail to answer her inquiry, but, I do not release her. To not push her away is enough of a response for her and she cuddles up against my chest even more. I stiffen, but do not step away. 

"Ruby..-" I begin, looking to find the words to describe the myriad of emotions that do not make any matter of sense within my chest.

"Theo, please." She mumbled. "You said it was my day."

I did. I had said that. I don't know what I was thinking.. I took a deep breath and rested my chin on top of her head. My left hand buried into her hair as my right hand rested against the brand on her hip. I gradually felt myself relax and let go of the rigid idea of control that I had embraced for the last three years. As the images of the nightmare we had all once lived flooded back into my mind's eye, I immediately knew that this was a mistake.

War. Fire. Smoke. The screams of the innocent. The final breath of so many. Young. Old. Unforgiving. Undeserved. I'm nothing but a monster. I can hide behind the fact that I was forced to do so much that I regret, but I cannot bury away the reality that I failed to fight against any of it. I didn't even try. Was there something I could have done? I would forever have to live with never knowing.

I might as well be Voldemort myself....

I did not want what he wanted, but I accomplished terrible things, nonetheless. Terrible, yes, but great. I tried to stay upright as my grip on Ruby became tighter.

                                         Ruby

For the first time in our entire history of marriage, I felt safe and relaxed in Theo's arms. I felt the delusional hope that things could change. What today showed me was that he was capable of change, he just had to want too. I prayed to Merlin silently as I took in his scent and listened to his heartbeat. Without warning, I began to feel his grip on my hip gradually tighten. 

"Theo?" I asked softly, carefully. 

He did not answer me. His hold became harsher, and I instinctively shifted away from him. I met his eyes. He was no longer there.

"Theo, you're hurting me." I said firmly as my arms dropped to my sides, no longer feeling the desire to cling to him in the name of hope and warmer days. I attempted to pull away from him.

"You don't pull from me." He growled pushing me up against the shower wall. I groaned at the impact and whimpered at how foolish I had been.

"What did Daddy say happens when you don't behave?" Theo asked, his fingers gripping my throat.

"I'll be punished, sir." I said feeling the tears follow their familiar path down my face. I tried desperately to avoid his eyes.

"Hands and knees. On the bed. Now!" He ordered, letting me go. I rushed to the bed and got in position, shaking and gripping the bedding until my knuckles turned white.

Theo gave me no warning as to what his plans were, and I had failed to brace myself in time before the first lick of his belt hit my arse. I screamed. He was unaffected. His onslaught continued. When he was satisfied, he dropped his belt to the ground. He stepped forward and ran his fingers over the welts he had caused to rise in my skin.

"One day you'll learn." He spoke. It was a regular line used by him and the irony in it was disgustingly present. I would never learn. This would never cease.

I winced as I felt Theo separate my arse cheeks. I whimpered as I felt his cock at my tight rear.. I held my breath and fought to stay in place as he pushed into me against my body's will. My entry stretched to accommodate him, its painful. He began to thrust in and out at a rapid pace. I keep holding my breath as this is soo uncomfortable. I do not want this, but i dare not speak up or i will get much worse. Once he releases his load, he pushes me to the bed and walks back into the bathroom.

I heard him return to the shower and, eventually, gather his clothes behind me. I stayed in position and cried into a pillow. He cleared his throat.

"Look at me." He ordered.

I hesitated only just a moment before shifting to turn and face him.

"I'm going out. Have your day." He said. "Behave yourself. I'll have the elves prepare dinner tonight."

I dared not respond. There was nothing to say.  He frowned, but, left me alone in the red room.

When I was certain he would not return, I pulled myself together. I ran a scalding shower and scrubbed myself raw. I wanted to remove the feel of his hands, the feel of his lips, the feel of his tongue. I wanted all of it to go away. I dressed myself and headed out the back door to the grounds. A few of our elves were walking around tinkering with some of the weeding or gathering produce from the fruit trees.

There was a beautiful blend of landscaping, but only one small patch of lilies in the far back corner of the property. I fell to my knees in front of the flower bed. The tears returned to my eyes. I turned to the nearest house elf.

"Please bring me a shovel." I tried.

The elf would not even turn to acknowledge my presence.

"Bring me a shovel." I attempted again, a bit firmer. There was no response and I found myself growing livid. I stood and walked over to the nameless creature.

"I am the lady of this house, and you will obey me!" I shouted.

The elf turned on his step and walked away from me. "Master Nott I obey. Master Nott I obey." He mumbled.

I felt true rage in my body. I lifted my sleeves and returned to the flower bed. Fuck the shovel! I screamed and cursed and released all of my anger while wrist deep in the soil. In no time at all, the patch of flowers was destroyed. I leaned back on my hands and looked up at the sky as I panted and tried to catch my breath. I safely assumed that I would pay for this one way or another, but, right now in this uninterrupted moment, it felt immeasurably good to take back some power.