𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 ➳ 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐭 𝐒𝐞𝐚 (one piece fanfic)

Chapter 114 🎄🎄

Sometimes, when she wakes up, there is a lump in her throat, a swallowed scream caught in webs of shame and disgust.

Sometimes when she opens her eyes in the dead of the night, gasps of breath escape her and she finds herself struggling to catch some sliver of air back into her lungs. Like a fish out of water, powerless and trying still to breathe.

This night like every other night, she woke up, in sweat, gasping for air, chest heaving in and out, a burning pain constraining her lungs. Her vision blurry and dazed, her heartbeat resounding in her head.

Her nails dug deep into her thighs, the sharp pain acting like a blanket over the pounding of her head, devouring every other noise.

As her breath started calming down, she finally pushed herself out of bed. Her arms trembling under the weight of her body, she stumbled a little as she fully got up, black spots appearing in her vision. She knew that if she stayed laying down she would only sink deeper and deeper in a swamp of memories and regrets.

That was the reason she hated drinking... It made her feel weak, out of control.

A glance out of the window told her she had barely slept a few hours. And the incoming headache she felt reminded her far too well of what had happened before she went to sleep. She rubbed her forehead with a groan. "Why did I say that?" That mumble went unanswered as she walked out of her room and toward the kitchen.

Due to her habits of barely sleeping she had been given full access to the kitchen during the night. She sat down on one of the stools, papers detaching from her to fetch a plate of biscuits—put aside specially for her. Just enough to give her the rush of sugar she needed to not collapse during the day—her small dose of happiness per day.

But even though she knew the taste of the biscuit, and knew she should have liked it, in that instant it felt tasteless, the crunch feeling mechanical in her mouth as she swallowed what felt like dry sand. She forced herself to eat another one, forcing the dull pastry down her throat with a mouthful of water.

Objectively, nothing was different from this biscuit to the ones she gobbled down any other day, it was just one of those days where nothing tasted right, where her favorite foods made her want to throw up. She frowned.

A soft yawn made itself known in the room, alerting her to the presence of someone she had already sensed from afar. "Good morning, Shanks."

"'morning Konan," he replied in a sleepy mumble, stretching as he walked in before plopping into the hammock hung in the corner of the room.

"You're already up." The question in her statement was obvious, he wasn't a morning person.

"I heard you wake up."

Usually not even a full blown battle could wake up a hangover Shanks. He must have sensed her doubtful stare as he continued.

"Your Haki flared up when you woke up."

"Oh," was all she said. She should have known her control would slip. She couldn't remember what nightmare plagued her dreams this time, she only remembered the despair and powerlessness gripping at her tightly, slithering around her throat and suffocating her. "I apologize."

"It's alright, the other guys understand, it happens sometimes." He shook his head, "It's more unpleasant for you than it is for us."

Silence fell soon again as he closed his eyes. But she knew he wasn't asleep, he was watching over her, choosing to not go back to his room even though he knew she was strong enough to not need such worry. It was baseless worry, useless some might say.

She doesn't remember when, but she closed her eyes longer than she should have had and sleep took over her. She vaguely remembers her head falling forward and something soft catching her before she could touch the countertop.

The next moment she came to, she was in her bed, warm light caressing her face making her open her eyes. Her head felt heavy with a headache, traces of her hangover remaining. It was probably late in the morning, judging by the faint smell of food spreading around her room and the sun blatantly hanging in the middle of the sky.

When she finally came out of her room and out onto the deck, she was greeted by chuckles and teasing smiles from the crew members, "Slept in today? Didn't take you for that type of person Konan."

She smiled sweetly, and the few sharp ones took a step back, turning away from the unsuspecting victim. Less than a second later, the person unfortunately found himself flying over board.

Benn simply shrugged, "Idiot."

Konan raised an eyebrow at him, making him turn away with an innocent whistle. He wasn't about to poke a hangover tiger, not when he could feel his captain staring daggers at him.

"Slept well Konan?" Shanks asked as he jumped down from the mast, a wide grin on his face. He chose to ignore the disgusted gagging behind him.

She simply hummed in answer, fists clenching and unclenching before she walked away and toward the kitchen. She hadn't slept that much in a very long while, she didn't trust her throat to make audible sounds.

After having fully woken up and eaten she settled on sitting on the floor, letting the hard wood press against her back. The discomfort felt familiar and soothing.

She let her gaze wander around aimlessly, papers spreading from her body, covering the deck and blending in. An unconscious act of protectiveness.

It was a slow day, devoid of purpose, their boat floating along the currents. Crew members bickered while tidying up and checking their supplies.

She observed them for a while before the sun's heat became too much to bear and she finally got up.

Benn, who had been observing the sea by her side while smoking, commented on her sudden movement, "Found something to do?"

She simply hummed, leaning over the edge of the boat before jumping to stand on it. "I'll be back by tonight, probably." And she jumped over.

Benn coughed up his smoke as he watched her jump and not land on water, her body sinking deep below the waves, soon disappearing from his sight. "What the hell?"

Shanks soon appeared by his side, "She's begun her training."

"Did you advise her on that?"

He shook his head in exasperation. "Nah, she's the only one crazy enough to get this kind of idea." In theory it wasn't a bad idea to train underwater as the currents and pressure would provide the perfect environment for training, but for most people with devil fruits it was a suicidal move, and for those without it, if they didn't know themselves well enough, it could end in pointless death. 

She would probably be fine though... it was Konan after all. 

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Merry Christmas everyone !! 🎄🎉🎁☃️

I hope you all have a serene and happy end of year 2023 <3