A Love Like This.... ✔

#18-- Pain. ✔

Ashna's P. O. V.

Remember! Don't let anyone or anything steal your joy!

My thoughts are all jumbled up. Sigh.

I already had a bad start with a stupid deal and then Roy- Natasha.

That witch. Bitch!

Did they sleep together last night? The inevitable question popped in my head. Obviously they did. That's what that woman does. She sleeps with every other guy in view.

But Roy...

He is also the same. He never changed. What did I expect? He won't have affairs? Oh, he can't survive a single day without a woman to warm his bed.

Seven years back also he had affairs when he was dating me. Only because I wasn't ready to sleep with him, he went out for different woman every night. And I thought he will change. Wow!

Why Natasha? If it wasn't her then it would be someone else. Of course.

He is the same, Ashna. He never changed. He never had any feelings for you and never will have. You're blinded by his charm once again. My subconscious snapped at me.

Seven years back he didn't love you and now also he doesn't. Seven years back you fell in love with him and he didn't. Now also you fell in love with him and he didn't.

Expectation hurts and I expected too much. He has the power to ruin me and I let him ruin me all the time. I'm a freak. He is the devil. We're a match made up in hell.

This is not going to work. We are never going to work.

Why do I feel cheated? We are not even together. He can sleep with anyone he wants. He didn't cheat.

This is the exact feeling I felt seven years back. Only then he broke up with me and now he cheated on me.

Natasha. I hate her. She was the reason for the destruction in my life. She, her mom and my dad... they ruined us. Roy broke up with me. If you tried to open my brain in two halves, a self-destructive mess you'll find.

Once again, she caused me pain. She and Roy, they both hurt me where it hurts the most.

I feel it again. Pain.

Pain. That word itself hurts.

A stream of tears flowed down my cheeks.

I excused myself from office and spent my day with my daughter. Avery was the only constant thing in my life. She was very happy with the toys and chocolates from her well-wishers. She made me smile in my worst times. Then what? The pain and tears were back. The feeling of emptiness was back.

Weak. I felt weak at heart. I always loved him and I still loved him. And I will always love him.

I want him back but he doesn't. I love him but he never loved me back. He brings the worst out of me. He makes me miserable.

I always thought I'm a very strong woman. But then I'm a woman and emotionally weak. Every woman feels beautiful when she is loved. When her man calls her beautiful she feels like the queen of the world. He called me beautiful. He made me feel beautiful.

People think I'm stuffed with all the happiness in life but I know I have nothing. Money, wealth and fame can't buy you happiness and love. I have achieved all of it by myself and I'm a very proud woman. I have a lovely daughter and parents and brother. I have a well established company. I'm respected and honoured in the society. Woman of my age and younger want to become successful like me. But then what? Am I really happy? NO!!! I'm a lonely woman.