Love Isn't Always Fair ~Andy Biersack love story

Chapter 15

I have been grounded for the past couple of months so I am very sorry I haven't updated!

I awoke to see Andy's face yet again. Except it wasn't extremely awkward. The night before I told him he could stay with me and he insisted that he sleep on the floor. Last night could've easily been the best night ever! I mean, I missed home so much! I came to realize that I had used Ronnie. Not in that intentional bitchy way but, I had used him to help myself get over Andy. I feel terrible about it. I mean, normally when I think of myself, I don't include that I use people. A lot has changed about myself. I went from an abusive boyfriend to Andy. I went from mega depressed to super happy with my life. But along with all these changes I have become scared. Scared that I'm losing control of my emotions. I don't like letting a guy control me this much. I don't like knowing what losing Andy can drive me to. I had changed back into someone I wanted long gone. That would be the old me. I don't like her. When Andy was gone I had to put a mask on my face and pretend I was alright. But I knew I wasn't and so did Peyton. I'm not sure if letting Andy back in was the best choice I could've made, but I also know that it's time to get rid of old Raven once and for all. Or at least try harder this time.

"Good Morning Raven." Came Andy's sleepy voice from beside my bed.

"Good morning Andy. How did you sleep?" I asked, gesturing to the mound of blankets on the floor.

"Ugh, how did you sleep?" He asked.

"Good."

"How are your-" he stopped and got up, pulling the bandanas off my wrist. They had not completely scabbed over and still hurt, but not that bad. Andy seemed distraught to have seen my cuts again and got angry, but not at me. He jumped up and walked away briskly, leaving my door open behind him. My immediate reaction was to follow him, so I did. My tired brain had a hard time getting my legs to catch up to the spread of his long paces to the back door. He pulled a cigarette carton out of his pocket along with a lighter and light up. He inhaled sharply and closed his eyes, exhaling.

"Andy." I said quietly moving close to his side.

"What?" He asked. I couldn't tell I he was sad or just upset.

"You know that you couldn't have done anything to get rid of this right?" I asked tracing the cuts with my finger.

"We know that's not true." He bitterly said.

"What could you have done Andy? Go back in time?! Maybe read my mind to see what was going t happen next?!" I said, raising my voice.

"Maybe if I wouldn't have gone out with Juliet in the first place, we would still be together, no Ronnie, no razors, no cuts!!"

"There are so many what ifs. Please don't blame yourself. If it weren't for me we wouldn't be in this situation." I pleaded, a tear rolling down the side of my face. He pulled me into a tight bear hug where I could snuggle close and ignore the world for just some time. We both let time stop for a couple minutes. Standing outside in the cool wind. Both of them lacking makeup and regular clothes. It was nice to forget all the troubles and all the scars. Just the two of us against the rest of the tragedies and sacrifices. Soon, like all great things, it had to come to an end. We walked back inside like nothing had happened and assumed the role in our "normal" everyday lives. I went to an interview at UCLA and Andy met up with the guys and John to talk about touring again. It's going to be a long day, I hope I get in to UCLA!

A/n: do you think Andy will start touring again? Will raven make it into UCLA? What is going to happen between them?