Chameleon - Shoto ASD fic -

8

!!!TW!!!

Suicide references

CHAPTER 8

I'm sat in the spare bedroom, gently rocking. There's something weird about the room. I can't place my finger on it, but it's like, something ominous hangs in the air. Like something happened here.

I look around. There's an ensuite bathroom with a shower, but no lock.

Weird.

I look out the window and see....bars? Is it a prison?

I continue rocking.

You're such a freak. STOP.

I try stopping, but instead my fingers tap. Mic comes in the room, holding tea. He sits on the edge of my bed, looking at me with worry.

'How you doing Shoto?' I think. How am I doing? He hands me the tea.

'I'm hungry' I say, which is the honest truth. Mic laughs. 'I'll grab you something to eat. How's rice cakes?' My stomach churns. I don't like the crunch of ricecakes. It makes me feel weird.

'Erm, could I have some toast?' Mic smiles. Of course, let me just grab you some. He heads out, as I see a mop of yellow hair peek round the doorway.

'Can we talk Sho?' I nod. He walks inside, gently closing the door. He sits.

'You can't keep lying to everyone'. I huff. 'I know'. 

'Shin's worried sick. He won't even talk to me.'

All your fault.

I swallow, knowing my options don't look great. 'I'm sorry. I panicked'. Denki nods, understanding.

'I just want to let you know Shoto that we care about you. No matter what's happening up in that head of yours, we love you'.

Lies. There's no such thing as love.

He begins to cry. Damn it. What should I do? Maybe hug him? I scoot over, enveloping him in a hug. He cries harder.

'We just- I can't- please'. I begin to stroke his hair, something my mum used to do to me to help me sleep. It seems to work.

You ruin everybody's life. You don't deserve to be a hero. There are millions of people who deserve your spot on the course, like Shinso.

That's a fair point. Maybe I should leave UA. Stop everyone having to care about me.

Then you can die in peace.

But I'm not sure I want to die?

Mic comes in, as Denki sits up straight, wiping his eyes. 'Brought you some toast little listener'. He smiles at me, and I copy him.

Denki looks at me, with an expression I'm not used to. I don't know what it means. I tilt my head to the side, trying to read his body language.

He gets up and leaves, mouthing 'tell him' as he leaves. Ah, I think I understand what he wants.

I look at Mic, who stares into the distance.

Don't tell him.

'Shinso was right. I attempted suicide by slicing my neck with a blade of ice'. I say bluntly. This snaps Mic out of his daydream. I see his mouth drop. I see a million expressions fall over his face, not recognising a single one.

Shit, was that too insensitive? Damn. I'm bad at subtle.

'Erm, well, okay. Um, would you be okay if I got Shota?' I nod, as Mic scrambles out the room.

Idiot. Hope you like being front page news.

Mic returns with Aizawa, who looks white as a ghost. He gently sits on the edge of the bed, as a cat runs in behind him, yellow with different coloured eyes. Must be liddle. He jumps onto the bed, and I pspsps him over to me. I begin stroking him, enjoying his company.

'Todoroki, Mic told me you tried to kill yourself. Is that true?' I continue staring at the cat, who begins purring. This makes me smile.

'Yes' I respond.

'Why?' He asks. I look up, and notice both adults are staring at me expectantly.

'Because I don't like existing very much, so death sounds better'. I look back down at the cat, who rolls on her belly. I giggle.

They stay quiet. I look out the window, noticing the bars again.

'Why is this room so weird?' I ask, as Mic and Aizawa look at eachother.

'It's because of me' I look to the door, noticing Shinso. 'It was either here, or a hospital.' He comes into the room, sitting at the desk.

'I was a risk. So I was supervised in here until I got better. I was visited by a crisis team daily until I was no longer considered a suicide risk'.

It all clicks. Why everything seems baby proofed. Why the shower has no hose. Why the doors have no locks, or why the windows are barred.

'Are you better now?' I ask. This makes Shinso laugh, which makes me confused. 'You literally tried to kill yourself like half an hour ago and you're worried about me? Damn Shoto!' I smile.

Aizawa turns to me, looking serious. 'We called up Endevour, and asked if you could stay with us for a bit.'

Fuck. No no no no-

'He deosn't know about the situation. We just said we wanted to do some more rigorous training' Mic explains. 

'Thank you' I say. Aizawa pulls a green bracelet out from his pocket. 'May I?' He asks, and I nod. He clips it on me, locking it.

'This is a quirk nullifying bracelet, which we think is best if you wear whilst you're recovering'. 

Shinso looks at me. 'Don't worry dude, you get used to it after a while'. I nod.

You're rocking again.

I catch myself, but it's too late. Aizawa looks at Mic, then back at me.

'Todoroki, do you do this often?' I huff. There's no point lying anymore.

'Yes. It makes me calm'. Mic sits down next to me. 'Do you have adversion to smells, certains tastes, sounds, stuff like that?' I nod.

'What about reading people?' I chuckle softly. 'No fucking clue half the time'. The cat jumps down, heading out the room.

'Todoroki, have you ever been tested for autism?' I miss the cat. It was fluffy. Autism? I think I've heard of that.

'No?' I say. Mic looks at Aizawa. 'If it's okay with you, could we book you a session with a psychiatrist? We were going to book one anyway, but might be worth mentioning this too'. I nod. 'Sure'. 

I knew you were a freak. You have autism. It's incurable. You'll never be a hero.

'Cool' Mic says, stanidng up. 'We'll let you get some rest now. We typically lock the door, but we'll do a trial run first to see. Besides, tweedle dum and tweedle dee over here basically never sleep, so they'll hear ya'. Aizawa nudges him playfully.

'Sleep well Shoto' Aizawa says, as the pair leave the room.

'Is Denki still here?' I ask. 'Nah, he left already. Dad and papa don't let him stay over'. 

'Why?' I ask, having no clue. Shinso chuckles. 'You're too pure for this world Sho, you know that right?' I still have no idea what's going on.

He stands up, heading towards the door.

'It's Midoryia, by the way'. I am now officially lost. I try to read his expression, to no use.

'Oh, right, yeah, sorry my bad. I mean Midoriya is the one who has a crush on you'. And with that, he leaves the room.

Midoriya huh.

He's delusional. You're gross.

I huff. 'I know' I say. But I feel a small smile creep up my face, as my stomach tingles. 

I like him too.