Chameleon - Shoto ASD fic -

11

!!!TW!!!

Mentions of SH

CHAPTER 11

I'm so thankful that my hero costume has these brackets around my arms, or I would've been done for. Before training, Aizawa takes off my bracelet, but I have to wear a mic so he can hear everything. It's actually kinda annoying, because it means I feel like I have to always be outperforming everyone.

After training, as usual, I change in a cubicle, because I don't want anybody to see my scars or bruises. I don't want any more attention. I used to always get questions about it, but people now leave me alone. The main issue I always have is the baths. They're communal, so I have to bathe at really weird times to make sure I'm alone.

Which is where I am now, at 3 in the morning, scrubbing my body within an inch of its life.

Look how ugly you are. Covered in all these marks.

I try scrubbing at my scars, trying to make them go away. I put my arms under the water and wince. My left arm looks fucking awful.

I hear a door open then close. I remain still, hoping they're just using the toilets. But then I hear a shuffling of clothes being thrown onto the floor. Damn it. I need to get out, now. Where's my towel? I search around.

I left it by my clothes in the other room.

I look down at the water. Will it cover me up? I begin to hyperventilate. I desperately look around, looking for anything I can hide behind. Nope. Nothing.

I hear footsteps. I swim to the back of the bath, away from the front as much as possible. Hopefully, I can sneak past them when they're washing themselves.

I hold my breath. Maybe it's Denki or Shinso? Please be Denki or Shinso. If there's a god, please listen. I can smell rosemary, that's...

Deku?

He stares at me. I stare back. 'Oh, hi Shoto.' I nod my head in response, trying to maintain eye contact with him. Don't look down.

He awkwardly shuffles fowards, climbing into the bath. 'What you doing up at 3am?'

'Couldn't sleep' I mumble. I pull my knees to my chest, hiding my left arm under the water. He smiles. 'Same here'.

There's a moment of awkwardness. I'm naked sitting a few metres apart from my crush who's also naked. 

He's going to find out. Then he won't like you anymore.

I gently begin rocking, trying to calm my nerves. 

'Hey you okay?' I realise what I'm doing. Shit. 'Yeah I'm good' I say, stopping myself from rocking. He swims closer to me.

The smell of rosemary is overpowering, but really comforting. I like it. It's so comforting, that I completely forget about the situation.

'Shoto, what's that on your arm?' I freeze. Shit, no no no no no-

Told you he'd find out.

'Bracelet' I squeak out, hoping to deter him. I feel him get closer to me. 'Shoto, is that...' he trails off. I stare at my knees, hoping to simply vanish and disappear forever. I feel him lightly touch my arm. Go away go away go away...

RUN.

'GET AWAY' I scream out, pushing him away from me. I run out of the water, grabbing my clothes on the way out.

I run, still naked, up the stairs into the common room. Thank fuck there's nobody there. I run past the common room, up another flight of stairs and into my room, locking the door.

He knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows.

'FUCK' I yell, shoving my books off my desk. I begin throwing everything around my room. Eventually, I calm myself down, climbing under my weighted blanket, not caring if I'm still soaked.

I hear a knock at the door. Damn it, must've woken Denki. I throw on a shirt and sweats, and open the door.

'Hi Shoto'. I'm met face to face with Deku. 'Can we talk?' He asks.

Make him leave.

'Don't wanna' I manage to rasp out. Deku sighs. 'Shoto, please'. Again, I can smell rosemary. It's comforting.

Fuck it. 'Fine' I say, stepping backwards, allowing him to come into my room.

He sits cross legged on the floor, and I sit opposite him, pulling my blanket around myself.

'Shoto, how long have you been harming yourself?' Damn it. Straight to the point. Deku doesn't fuck around.

'I don't know' I answer. He nods, understanding. 'Does anybody else know?' I nod. 'Denki and Shinso'. He breathes a sigh of relief. 'Good. Is everything sterile?' He asks. I pause, knowing I need to rebandage everything. I shake my head.

He stands, going into my bathroom, returning with the first aid kit. 'Can I?' He asks gently. 

NO.

I shake my head violently. He sighs. 'Shoto, I don't think about you any differently'.

He's lying. 

'Please. I just want to help you'. There's that smell again. Calming. Intoxicating. I nod, looking away as he pulls up my sleeve.

I feel him clean out the wounds, then apply a fresh bandage. He pulls down my sleeve. I continue to look away, not wanting to see him.

He probably looks disgusted. You're weak.

But then I feel him pull my arm closer to his face, and he...kisses it?

'All better' he says. I slowly turn my head around to look at him. Not a hint of disgust, only sadness. 'Y-you're not disgusted?' I ask, my voice trembling.

He shakes his head. 'No Shoto.' 

He's lying. He hates you. You're ugly, weak-

Suddenly, I'm throwing myself at Deku, yanking him into a hug. He hugs me back. It's so overwhelmingly comforting. Better than a weighted blanket.

'You wanna talk about why?' He asks. Still hugging him, I shake my head no. 'No worries then. But please promise that you'll talk to me if you ever feel the urge again?'

'I-I'll try' I manage to get out. I unclasp from the hug, staring into those beautiful green eyes. It's like staring into a mystical forrest. That weird feeling is back in my stomach. 

He could never love you. You're unlovable. You don't know what love is, remember?

'Shoto, is it okay if I kiss you?' I stare at him. He runs his hand through my hair.

Don't do it. You'll just ruin his life.

I nod, and am immediately met with so much warmth. I can feel his hot breath against my face. And for a second, it seems like the world stands still. I wrap my arms around him, enjoing the warmth. I could stay like this forever.

He pulls away, looking at me searchingly. 'You okay?' Is all he manages to ask. I nod. And then, I feel myself smiling. A genuine smile.

'Yeah'. I say. He smiles. 'I think I have a crush on you Deku'. He laughs. 'I have a crush on you too'.

He's lying. You're so gross. Kill yourself.

'Could you stay with me? I-I don't really wanna be alone'. He pulls me into another hug. 'Bad thoughts?' I nod. He gently picks me up, placing me on my futon. He climbs in next to me, putting the weighted blanket over us.

'Damn, that's one heavy blanket' he grunts out. I laugh. 'Yeah, I like the pressure'. He thinks for a second. 'Do you want me to lie on you?' Do I? 'Y-yes please'. He climbs on top of me, and I can feel my cheeks heat up.

'Not too heavy?' He asks. 'No, it's really nice' I say. His warmth, his smell, and the weight is so perfect, I feel so safe, that I immediately fall asleep.