Chameleon - Shoto ASD fic -

26

!!!TW!!!

SH, Suicide

CHAPTER 26

'No' He says, taking a step towards me. 'I don't want you doing anything you might regret'.

I laugh, but not a normal laugh, no. A maniacal, one devoid of joy, and hope. A laugh which is spurned by the hollowness of my heart. Like the sound a straw makes when you've sucked up all the liquid, and are sucking up bubbles. A nothing laugh. 

'How can I regret it if I'm DEAD' I say through my laughs. He stares at me, frightened. 

'Damn Katuski, never seen you scared before' I say, tears now forming in my eyes from laughing. 'It's funny'.

'You need help, Shoto' he says firmly. 'Nope' I say, my laughs finally stopping. 'No point'. 

'What do you mean no point?' He says. I cock my head to the side, smiling. 'You know when you're digging people out of the rubble? And there are those that are clearly dead, but you dig out the corpse anyway just in case they're alive? That's what this is. I'm a corpse Katsuki. I died a long time ago. Stop trying to dig me out.'

And with that, I create a box of ice around him. He tries using his quirk, but the drop in temperate stops him sweating. 

'Well, this has been fun, but I have stuff I'd really like to do now' I say. I head over to the balcony, looking down. I can hear him muffling something, but I don't care enough anymore to figure out what.

This won't cut it. Higher. Sharper, or tighter.

Suddenly, the door barges open, and I see Deku with red eyes.

'Sho...WHAT THE FUCK?' He yells, noticing Backugo in his ice prison. Damn it.

Make him choose.

He starts walking towards me. 'Miidoryia. Backugo will freeze to death in 1 minute. You can either stop me from leaving, or save him. Your choice'. He stares at me, confused.

'Why are you acting like a villain Sho?' He asks, distraught. I shrug. 'Guess I'm just desperate to murder someone'.

And with that, I jump down the balcony using my quirk, running away into the night. As predicted, Midoriya doesn't follow me. Kacchan first. Kacchan always first. I chuck my phone down a drain, and head into some woods.

It won't be long before they find me, so I need to get busy dying. I sit down against a tree. I look down at my hand, and see goosebumps. Guess I'm cold again.

Well done, you've finally done it. We can be free.

'Yeah' I say. I look up at the sky, but see nothing but black. I guess there's too many clouds for stars. 

But isn't that always the case?

I hear a shuffling, and see a fox scurry out from between the trees. He stares at me. Maybe in my next life, I'll be a fox or something. But realistically, if suffering is transferrable, I don't want to be reincarnated at all. I just don't want to exist. Is there a way to do that? To just, simply not be?

You're a villain. You don't get that choice.

I sigh. I guess I'm more like Dabi than I give myself credit for. 

And Endevour too. You're angry all the time.

I guess. At least I take that anger out on myself, not on the people I love.

You think you're capable of love?

This stumps me. I thought I knew what love was. In the way Mic and Aizawa adopted me, or in the way Natuso wanted to have me round for dinner. Or the way Deku kissed me. Was it ever truly love?