Chameleon - Shoto ASD fic -

5

!!!TW!!!

SH and suicide references

CHAPTER 5

So I guess they don't know about the attempt then, or they never would have left me alone. That's a relief I think.

You should've gone through with it.

Shut up. 

You should've sliced through that useless neck of yours. Let your body be used for parts. Saved somebody more worthwhile than you.

I get a ping on my phone.

Shinso: How you feeling?

I have no idea how I feel. I don't think I'm feeling anything at all. Is there a word for that? The absense of feeling?

Me: Tired

Shinso: How so?

This stumps me. How the hell am I supposed to answer this?

Me: Like, sleepy

Shinso: Okay. Not physically-speaking how are you feeling?

I feel like I'm taking some sort of exam. What the hell does he mean? I feel tired, but everywhere. Even my brain.

Me: Still tired

I turn my phone off. The time says 03:45. Dammit. I know I have nothing to get up for tomorrow but it's still annoying.

I get out of my bed, then pace around my room, hoping to tire myself out. Goddammit! That irritating smell is back. I begin to search all around my room, turning everything over, hoping to find the source. What the hell is it? 

I hear a knock at the door.

Who the hell is up at this time? I walk over to the door, and open it. Stood there is Shinso. He smiles at me. 'I could hear you pacing'. This confuses me. Aren't the support courses in a different building?

'How could you hear me in another building?' His face heats up. 'Oh, um, well, I sort of, I've been staying with Denks'. Ah, that makes more sense. Also explains why Denki is gone most evenings.

'Can I come in?' I stare at him. 'You're not some sort of vampire are you?' He laughs. 'No, but I think it's polite to ask'. I smile. For some reason, having Shinso in my room doesn't upset me. 'Yeah sure. Ignore the mess'.

He follows me back inside, and begins looking around. 'Looking for something?' He asks, plopping himself down on my desk chair. He looks at me, and begins scratching his temples. I think that's worry. 

Oh. I think he thinks I was looking for a razor. Better tell him the truth.

'Yeah. There's a weird smell in here and I can't find it'. Shinso sniffs the air. 'I can't smell anything'. I exhale, defeated. He tilts his head thinking. 'Tomorrow i'll ask Denks to take a look. He's a bloody hound dog I swear it'. This makes me smile.

'Yeah, he mentioned that he's sensative to smells and stuff'. I yawn, which irritates me. My body is tired but won't do anything about it. Shinso watches me.

'I can help if you want'. I yawn again, then laugh. 'Yeah, good luck. If you could force my body to sleep that would be great...' Shinso stifles a laugh. What's so funny...oh. Oh I am so very dumb. His quirk.

'You sure?' He smiles at me reassuringly. 'Yeah. I do it to Denks all the time.' He yawns. I think. 'Can't you force yourself to sleep?' He laughs. 'My quirk doesn't work on me. Tried'. I nod, understanding.

'Ironically, my biological dad's quirk was the ability to never need sleep. I know my quirks more useful, but sometimes I wish I got it'. I nod in agreement.

'I totally get it. The number of times I feel my dad's quirk cursed me is too many to count. Even though it's useful, I wish I was just born with just an ice quirk'. 

'So you and Endevour don't get on then huh'. I feel my blood run cold. I don't want to think about it. I shake my head, hoping that will be enough to satisfy his curiosity.

'Hey Shinso, could you put me to sleep now?' He nods. 'You sure you're okay with this?' I nod. 'Yeah I'm sure'. I feel my mind go blank.

The last thing I remember is Shinso saying 'Todoroki sleep'. 

-morning-

I wake to a completely tidy room. Shinso must've tidied up. I get up, throwing on some clothes. I reach for my phone, finding a few messages.

Pikachu: I've gone to class today. Don't hesitate to text me if you need anything.

Shinso: Hope you're feeling better today :)

Human Glowstick: I knocked to give you breakfast but you didn't respond. It's in the fridge!

Damn. I slept so deeply I didn't even hear Deku. I head down to the kitchen, finding a bowl of soup in the fridge. I smell it. Smells okay. I heat it up, then begin eating.

They pity you you know. They're not your friends.

But they said they care about me?

People lie Shoto. They lie all the time.

I know. And I don't understand why. I finish my soup, washing up my bowl and placing it on the drying rack.

So, what are you going to do today?

No idea.

You know what we could do?

I don't want to. Besides, Shinso took everything I had.

Did he?

A deep crawling feeling begins to seep through me. A feeling which I haven't had in a long time. The type of feeling you get only when you've made a terrible mistake. An oversight.

I trudge up to my room, and walk into my bathroom.

Do it.

I look at my right hand, and create a shard of glass.

DO IT.

I pull down my shorts, holding the shard against my leg.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. I jump, dropping the ice onto the floor, smashing it. I quickly pull up my shorts, head out my bathroom and open the door. Stood there is Recovery Girl.

Shinso and Denki didn't tell her, right?

'Hello dearie. Just thought I'd step by to see how you were feeling'. Shit. SHIT. She knows, oh god. Oh god oh god oh god oh god-

'Have you been sick since yesterday?' Of course. I'm in isolation.

'No. I think it was something I ate.' She looks at me, placing the back of her hand to my forehead. 'You don't feeling like you have a temperature. Anyway, I'd like to heal you, just in case'.

'S-sure' I stammer. She kisses me, and I instantly wobble, catching myself on the doorframe.

She looks at me funny. 'You sure you're not sick? Not at all?' She looks at me searchingly.

'Nope. Healthy. Just haven't been sleeping that well lately'. She huffs. 'Well, I think that you're probably fine to join afternoon lessons if you want'. She smiles at me, and I copy her.

'Thanks'. She turns around and leaves, and I shut the door.

Knock knock knock. I open the door. 'I told you, I feel fine...' I look up into the eyes of Aizawa.

'Hello Todoroki. Please could we have a chat?'

Oh no.