Chameleon - Shoto ASD fic -

29

!!!TW!!!

Mention of suicide

CHAPTER 29

He looks into my eyes. I look down at him.

He hates you now. You've ruined everything.

'S-sorry' I say, unclasping him. 'Sorry'. 

'Hey it's okay, it's alright' he says, running up behind me. 'I don't mind!' I look at him.

Liar.

'Yes you do. Don't lie'. I say bluntly, sitting down on the bed. He tentatively sits down next to me.

'Is it because I said I loved you?' I look at him, confused. But then, the lightbulb switches on. 

He told you that he loved you and you didn't even notice.

'N-no' I stammer, staring at the floor. 'I just...' I begin to rock gently. 'It's okay Sho, it's fine'. This angers me.

'But it's not fine though, is it?' I say, looking around at him. 'You've been nothing but kind to me, and I've been nothing but horrible to you.'

'But, it's not your fault.' He says. 'You're not well at the moment'.

That's all you are. Anger and coldness.

'But that's not a reason to continue to take my bullshit. Just because I'm fucked doesn't mean you should put up with me'. I tuck my knees to my chest.

You're broken.

'Please go' I say quietly. 'Are you...is this...are we...is this a break up?' He stammers.

He needs to be free from you.

'I just don't think I'm a good fit for you' I say bluntly. There's a pause.

'What do you mean?' He asks shakily. 'Well, you deserve someone who loves you. And I don't think I'm capable of love.'

'But you are' he whispers. I shake my head.

'All I feel is anger and coldness.' There's another pause. 'That's not true.' He says.

I turn around, looking him in the eye. 'Besides, we both know that there's someone else that you love more than me, right?'

He doesn't deny it straight away, and that's all the confirmation I need. 'It's more complicated than that' he says. I sigh, getting under my blanket.

'Whatever.' I curl up into a ball, staring at the wall. He continues to sit there, unmmoving. 'Was I not enough?' He says after a long pause.

'What do you mean?' I ask.

'You tried to kill yourself. Was I not enough?' The words strike me like a chilling blow, I roll over, sitting up.

'No. You were enough. You were always enough. The problem is I wasn't enough.'

He begins crying again. 'Why do you hate yourself so much?' He says between sobs.

'The question is, why don't you?' I respond.

You are the single most disgusting person that has ever been born.

He leans into my side, but I make no attempt to console him this time. It's not my place. It's now somebody elses. Somebody else that is able to feel heat, joy and love. Somebody who has passion drive, and most importantly, who Midoriya genuinly loves.

He continues sobbing into my shoulder. We sit there for a little while, until Midoryia finally cries himself to sleep. I gently put him under the covers, and lie down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.