Chameleon - Shoto ASD fic -

37

!!!TW!!!

SH, relapse

CHAPTER 37

I am lying in my bed at UA, trying not to think about Natsuo. We've been put in the dorms at UA as it's safer.

He'd probably dead, and it's all your fault.

I sigh.

You also levelled three buildings. You've killed people. You need to be punished.

I look down at my wrist, pinging the elastic band. It stings.

You think this is really going to cut it?

For fucks sake. For an inner voice it sure has a dark sense of humour. I don't think I even have anything in my room. Besides, my rooms being monitored - the moment I leave an alarm will go off in Dad and Papa's room. Can't make ice either, as they've put the fucking bracelet back on.

I ping the band again, then again, then again.

You have teeth.

I look down at my arm. Do I really want to do this? I place my teeth over my skin.

Do it.

There's a knock at my door. I ignore it, hoping they'll go away. But then I hear a sniffle.

'Come in' I say, and in walks...Hitoshi? He shuts the door behind him.

'Sho' He says, his voice cracking. I dart out of my bed, pulling him into a hug.

'What happened?' I ask him, as he buries his head into my shoulder.

'Failed failed failed failed failed failed' I hear him murmuring. I gently guide him to my bed, sitting him down. What's that...

Oh shit.

I then only notice his arms, covered in bandages. Fresh bandages. I pull him closer to me. He sniffles.

'What happened?' I ask softly. He doesn't respond, only murming the word 'failed' on repeat. I grab my weighted blanket, gently guiding him under it.

I wonder why he didn't go to Denki.

Suddenly, he bursts into tears. 'I-I wasn't there. The one fucking day I wasn't there and he gets fucking brainwashed'.

Oh. I see.

'He's not going to want to be with me now hes been brainwashed. He knows how horrible it is. He'll never trust me again'.

Oh damn.

'This is different Hitoshi. It wasn't you who brainwashed him' I say. He shakes his head.

'He won't want to date a monster' He whispers.

'You're not a monster' I say. I begin to stroke his hair. It's completely soaked with sweat.

'I fucking hate my quirk. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it...' He buries his head into my side.

'I understand how you feel Hitoshi, I literally didn't use Endevours quirk for the longest time because of it. But like Deku said, it's my own, not his. Just because you have the same quirk as a villain, doesn't make you one. Quirk's don't make villains, or even heros. They just...are. It's the person that chooses what to do with it.

He sniffles. 'You really think that?' he asks, peering up at me. 'Of course. I mean take Shigaraki. Most people would look at him and immediatly say decay is evil. But there's so much you can do with it! Like you could easily disintigrate buildings that people are trapped under. Or decay bombs, or weapons, or anything!'

Suddenly, Hitoshi wraps his arms tightly around me. 'Thank you'. I smile.

'Be careful, don't wanna reopen anything'. He nods into my neck.

'Talking of which, is everything sterile?'. He nods again. 'I've failed' He whispers. 'I relapsed'. 

'Progress isn't linear Sho.' He sighs. 'How the fuck am I gunna tell Denks'. He unclasps from me. 

'I'm not sure. But I think it might be wise to wake up Dad and Papa. They'll be more help than me.'

'You're actually been really helpful Sho. Thanks'. He smiles at me, and I mirror him.

'Watch this!' I say then run to the door, opening it.

'What are you...' Suddenly, we hear the pattering of feet down the corridoor. 'Sho! Mic says, landing outside my door, out of breath, what's going...on'.

He notices Hitoshi. His face falls. 'Oh Hit' he says, pulling him into a hug. 'You could've woken me up'. 

'I know' he says, muffled in his shoulder. 'Everything sterile?' Mic asks. He nods into his shoulder. Suddenly, Aizawa appears at the doorway, panting, capture weapon at the ready.

'What I miss?' He asks. His eyes furrow with concern, noticing Hitoshi. He walks over to him, and immeidatly notices the bandages. Wordlessly, he pulls him into a hug.

'I love you so much Hitoshi. So so so much'. Mic walks over to me, as they begin talking.

'How you doing?' He asks. I nod. 'Yeah okay.' He looks into my eyes searchingly. 'Come on Sho, you're an awful liar.' I huff.

Aizawa turns to Mic. 'I'm taking Hitoshi back to our room. See you in a bit.' Mic nods. The pair walk out the room.

I sit on the edge of my bed as Mic sits on the chair.

'What's going on Sho?' He asks me.

You're a murderer. And your brother is dead.

'Worried about Natsuo' I say. Mic nods, understanding. 'We're doing all that we can to find him Sho. There's dozens of heros out right now, searching for him.' I nod.

He stares at me. 'There's something else isn't there?' How the hell can he tell.

'How many people did I kill'. Mic sighs deeply. 'Sho, it's probably best-'

'How many?' He stops and thinks for a minute. 'You were brainwashed Sho. So you haven't killed anybody'.

'How many?'

There's a moment of silence. Mic removes his glasses, then cleans them on his pyjama top, then puts them back on his face.

'Three'.

He pulls me into a hug, but I don't feel anything at all. Not rage, or saddness, or anxiety. Just simply nothing. LIke a switch has gone off.

'But like I said, it's not your fault. You were brainwashed...' He continues talking, but I don't hear anything. It feels like the heat of his body is getting colder, and his voice getting further away. It's getting dark in here. 

Where is everything? I don't even hear my inner voice anymore. Is this a quirk? Am I being controlled again? I reach out, but touch nothing. Then I see a light. I look down, and see Mic hugging a small dishevelled child. Is that me?

I look into my own vacant eyes, noticing the scar over my eye. What does Deku even see in me?

I remember this place. I used to come here as a child a lot, whenever Endevour used to beat me. He can't touch me in here. Nothing can touch me in here.

A phone call brings me out of it. Mic hurridly picks up the phone.

'Have you found him?' He asks. His face pulls into confusion. 'Are you joking?' He asks. The voice mumbles somthing, then hangs up.

'Have you found him?' I ask hopefully. Mic shakes his head. 'No, but there is somebody here to see you.'

---

'Oh Shoto! How I've missed you! How have you been?' I sigh.

'Where is my brother, Toga'.