Shawn Mendes Imagines / Oneshots

this is what it takes

{a/n this is in shawn's pov and the italicized words are the song but he isn't singing, this imagine just kinda goes along with the song. but it's not one of those imagines where you listen to the song while reading, hell naw. idk... enjoy}

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i watch your troubled eyes as you rest, and i fall in love with every breath

wonder if those eyes are really shut, and am i the one your dreaming of

i hold her small hand in my larger ones, watching her chest rise and fall slowly. her eyes are closed where as mine have never felt so heavy. i have not stopped crying the entire day until now, because i'm facing this terrible reality.

she is leaving me.

'cause underneath the darkness, there's a light that's trying so hard to be seen

and i know this 'cause i've noticed, a little bit shinning through the seams

i fiddle around with wedding band on her finger as memories flooded my mind of our life together. our first date, our wedding, our kids, our love.

"y/n... i can not put in to words how much i love you. when i saw you at that party the night we met, i witnessed true beauty before my eyes for the first time. i was so nervous to talk to you, i was shy. but if i didn't have the courage to talk you you, not only would life of the party have not been written, but i wouldn't get to be where i am today. these past fifteen years have been the best years of my life." i speak softly to her knowing she can hear me.

and if this is what it takes, then let me be the one to bear the pain

oh if this is what it takes, i'll break down these walls that are in our way

if this is what it takes

"but i know your body is sick and stressed, and i know it's your time. you have been strong through out this entire journey. i can't imagine my life without you baby, i don't know if i could handle it. but for you, i'm going to be strong. knowing i cannot be as strong as you," i say as i peer through the curtain of the window into the hallway, to see my kids on a bench crying, waiting for there mother to go. tears prick my eyes, but i blink them back.

you keep on telling me i'm wasting time, but to call it wasting time oh that's a crime

and you think it's crazy what i'm trying to do, well baby i'm a fool for you

cause underneath the darkness, there's a light that's trying so hard to be seen

and i know this 'cause i've noticed, a little bit shinning through the seams

her heart monitor slows down, so i wrap up what i'm trying to say.

"y/n, you are my best friend and my beautiful, lawfully wedded wife. i love you,"

i choke at the lump in my throat, as tears spill out of my eyes when i say my last words to her

"but it's time for you to let go."

and just like that, as if on cue, her heart rate goes flat.

the doctors rush in the room, saying their sorry's to me as i just push past them to get into the hallway. i look at my three beautiful daughters and my son on the bench. they look me in the eyes and immediately know what has happened.

"daddy, is mommy in heaven now?" my youngest daughter asks.

"yes baby, mommy isn't hurting anymore. she is an angel now."

"i can't live without her dad!" my son whines out grabbing onto my chest. this was the first time i have ever seen my fourteen year old son cry. i instantly engulf him in a hug as he sobs loudly. my daughters join in a hug as we sob together.

y/n, my wife, gone. but i will do anything for her, for my kids.

i will be strong,

if this is what it takes.

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tears tears tears tears omg i'm sorry i did that you y'all. but idk if i like this image so let me know what you think.

~aekmusic