The Blurred Lines

• Liberation •

| Agastya |

"Agastya! Agastya!" I hear her melodious voice which seems full of concern.

She is calling out to me. My Natasha.

She is here. Right in front of my eyes. Her deep blue eyes are looking at me accompanied by sweet blinking. She is watching me lying here like a loser, in the empty parking lot, waiting to die so that I can have my wish fulfilled. I wanna be right there with her. But before I could have done something, she has herself come back to me. My Natasha has come back to me. She is dressed in the same yellow sundress, I had seen her last in. Same white intricate patterns, a big side knot on her waist - it's the same.

Her big doe eyes, plum pink lips, sharp facial features make my heart beat just the way they have always does. A single golden LED lights us in this dark arena. My cheeks go wide as a big smile comes on my face because I finally get to see her today. I have drowned myself in alcohol to erase the guilt which kills me, at the same time to punish myself. I want to forget all the events of the night she died, at the same time I want to be with her, up there in heavens. But little did I know that keeping myself away from alcohol will bring me closer to Natasha.

"Nats-" I stutter and eventually shut up for she softly places her index finger on her lips and nods in negative.
Natasha is now sitting close to me, on her knees, our faces are inches away, yet she seems distant, as if she is a daydream. I feel that she will vanish into thin air if I'll move forward my hand to hold her close.

"How are you Agastya?" she whispers, making me happier than ever.
It's almost more than an year that I have heard from her. Her sweet nectar like voice, evokes all the memories of each and every love word exchanged between us.

"I want to be with you." I reply, tears form in my eyes as I look at her smiling visage.
Natasha looks healthy, happy, full of life. Her face is glowing, she looks heavenly.

"LIAR!" she stands up with a pout on her lips and starts walking around with her hands at the back like a butterfly.
Her expressions are of amusement and teasing.

"I haven't lied to you ever." I insist like old times, trying to sound as genuine as possible. I don't know for how long she will stay and I want her to believe me.

"You are a liar Agastya." Natasha turns on her heels, glaring at me this time. Softness and playfulness seems nowhere. Her eyes tell that she sees me as a traitor.
"You promised me that you will keep me in your memories, you will safeguard our letters, our pictures, you will protect my honor but it seems that every promise of yours was just a pity lie." She shrugs and her eyes mock me ruthlessly.

"Natasha it's nothing like -" I struggle to make her understand but she continues.

"What would have I done with your false promises? Your love was never enough for me Agastya. Choosing him over you, will always be the best decision of my life. He gave me love, fulfilled all his -"

"- that bastard didn't even pick up my phone when you were dying." Tears finally cascade down my cheeks, blurring my vision. Natasha's words are causing me pain, similar to getting stabbed by hundred knives all together.

"- you made him do that." Natasha yells and then smiles bitterly.
"Agastya its always you. Even today, it is you who allowed her to set us on fire in front of your eyes. You didn't stop her. You are a loser Agastya. You forced him to leave me behind, you forced me to kill myself, and you let her burn the rest of us."

I feel like sh*t and she smiles again in my direction. She is right. I am the real cause behind everything that has happened in our lives. Natasha would have been alive, even if it was at the cost of my love and loyalty. I wouldn't have crossed paths with Lavanya ever and I shouldn't have let her cross the line between personal and professional grudges.