Fireworks

Chapter 15

Rosé pov :

"Hello Rosé ! I'm so honored to have you as a guest for the first time in 'About you'."

"I am very happy to be here, thank you for the invitation."

"As you know, the concept of this show is to offer another version of yourself that fans can't really meet in normal interviews. How are you feeling about this concept ?"

"I've always loved to watch this show so I really don't want to mess it up."

"Are you comfortable with opening up, is it an easy thing to do for you ?"

"I'm usually very open about my feelings and thoughts, but I have to admit I'm not when it's on tv, I'm kind of nervous now that I'm here."

"Yeah it can be scary right ?"

"Yes, no matter the theme I will share things that people have probably no idea about, it's going to be... like, me."

I nervously laugh and Seung-gi gave me a sweet and comforting smile :

"You don't have to worry, as I say to all my guests : all the people who will watch your episode are going to watch it to learn a little more about you, to get to know you better. No matter what you say or share with us today, you are the only one who's allowed to be disappointed here."

I smile at his statement and make myself a little more comfortable on the bed.

"This month's theme is 'Loss'. How are you feeling about that ? Inspired ?"

"Well, inspired I don't know but I certainly have one or two things to share."

"As you already know it's going to be a conversation so if there are any things you don't want to talk about just let me know."

"Okay."

"Ready ?"

"Yeah, ready."

"So, today's episode is 'About Rosé', we're going to learn more about your feelings toward this October theme : loss. Tell me Rosé, what is 'loss' to you ?"

Whitout thinking twice I open up, that's what 'About You' is all about after all.

"I lose a lot of things and a lot of people in my life, as anyone else, that's part of life. I don't consider myself as a material person but I tend to give importance to certain things or items that matter to me and when I lose them, because it always happens, I usually am very emotional about it..."

I laugh and I can feel Seung-gi smiling next to me.

"But losing people is different. The process is on a very different level, I don't just get emotional, there is the phase where I blame myself, when I blame others, when I get angry, mad, sad and even sometimes relieved."

Whitout interromping me, Seung-gi gives me conforting smile.

"My feelings about loss are varied. When it comes to things it just happens but when it comes to people... the whole process I put myself through is something I'm never prepared for. Every single time 'loss' arrives in my life is when I thought I was the happiest. Just to destroy everything and tell me 'it was too good to be true'."

"Is there a loss that really impacted you ?"

"Well, I have never been in grief, I never have a relative dying and I'm very grateful for that. But I did feel like dying once... a few years ago. I lost myself because of my first love and I had a really hard time to bring the piece of myself together after him. I lost him in such a way, I really hated myself to the point of seriously losing myself."