Late Night Thoughts

24

Sitting alone in your room,
You look at the clock
Your eyes widen as you realize you're another year older
It's the same but strange
You're not a child anymore
Not exactly
You won't go out and drink with your friends
You won't even take off work or skip class
There's too much work to be done
But you sit
And you watch the seconds move away from you
You look down at your textbook
You realize so much in just a moment
You realize how you've changed since you turned 18
You realize how you've changed from even a week ago
You feel a future cramp in your hip
You feel the excitement of a future child's birthday
You feel the satisfaction in discovery you will make someday
And you realize that everyone has told you this would happen
You're young, they say
Go make your mistakes
Go have your fun
Go find yourself and make a life for yourself
You never realized how true it was and how right they were
You never realized how much you've moved on
You've never realized how silly the little things are
And yet how important they are at the same time
You've never realized how much you care for the people in your life
But you're a different person
And they all seem the same, even if they're not
You now realize who you will be isn't who you thought
You now realize that life is making a new path for you
So you change your major
You change your schedule
You change your habits
You change everything except yourself,
You don't need to
It's being done for you
The ones who used to seem so mighty and strike fear in your core now just seem so small
You now realize you're the same as you were but you're....different
You know more, feel more, regret more, love more, remember more
You think about who you were before the monsters
You realize you can't remember a time without them
But you remember the moments in between
You remember your childhood laugh
You remember your first kiss
You remember the seemingly never ending moments of happiness
You remember the ones who loved you
And you remember the ones who love you still
With a smile you realize you're who you've always been
You're not different
But maybe you're just a bit more whole

Zdes' khorosho
Reverie