If you kill him, I'll kill you

Chapter 4

I just feel like myself. I felt my body and every bit of me. When I opened my eyes, I found myself facing a face. Fortunately, it's not Victor, although on second thought it would be better to face Victor now, as this face is completely unfamiliar. Although he doesn't look dangerous... he's still stranger.

- I'm glad you woke up, I was starting to worry that you had a bigger problem than a simple fall. I'm Sam Trobador, and you? - he looked at me questioningly.

- Clary Saltsman.

- Let me guess. Are you a newborn? I mean, a new vampire. - maybe he could see the uncertainty on my face towards him, so he flashed his canines, which made me feel like I could trust him. But common sense still says he's a stranger. So I just nodded.

- Maybe I know the answer, but I have to ask, how much do you know about being a vampire?

- I don't really know, I don't think much, just what Victor told me.

- You mean Victor Castro? - his eyes widened, as if he had seen a ghost. Although after the vampires, I wouldn't be surprised if a ghost came here. - He chose you? I mean for a partner? - I just nodded again.

- And is it mutual? What am I asking? Of course it is, because you're a vampire...

- No. - I interrupted. - I loved him when I was a human... but not anymore. After I woke up from the dead - jesus how morbid to say that out loud - and he told me what happened... I don't even know. Not anymore. - it is strange to talk about my spiritual affairs in front of a stranger whom I have known for ten minutes. Yes, he saved me, and he's very kind, but still, he is a stranger to me.

- Listen, Clary, I'll be happy to help you with anything. Please don't take it as an intrusion, I just think you'd be better off with a good dose of help. - some inner voice tells me again that I can trust him. I usually think through serious decisions, but now...

- I would appreciate it if you could help me. - then we smiled at each other.Sam showed me the house, which looked like a big palace; there is plenty of space, many rooms, a large kitchen. Although I don't understand the kitchen, because vampires only drink blood.So blood. Sam gave me something to drink or eat (?) and said he'll take me hunting when I'm ready. At first I almost had a heart attack when I thought we were going to hunt humans, but it turns out Sam meant forest animals. While we were talking, I learned some new information, including that the first generation of our species are called ancient vampires, but no one knows how they came to be.- Can I ask you something? - Sam asked. I nodded. - How is this whole Victor Castros thing going? I don't quite understand what's going on between you two. - I took a deep breath and I started.

- I met him as a mortal not long after my sister died. He helped me overcome grief and pain. He knew how hard it was because his parents had died. Yesterday was my birthday, so he took me to the forest for dinner. - I got a little sensitive. After all, the idea of taking him out to eat was such a nice gesture. - I drank red wine with his blood in it, but I didn't know that, and approximately half an hour later he drowned in the lake.

- I'm really sorry. - I waved, indicating that I sorry too, but there was nothing to do. - And how did he let you go? Aren't you afraid that if he finds you he will hurt you?

- He didn't really let me go. I ran away from him. But based on what he said about choosing a partner, I'm not afraid that he'll hurt me. If I die, he might as well.

- You're right. - we spent the rest of the evening with talking. We covered many topics like family, friends, love stories. In addition to these, Sam confirmed a few facts about vampires, for example, if a stake is driven into our heart, it's all over. You can't live again.We fell asleep on the couch. The next morning I woke up to move because my leg was on Sam's leg and he tried to pull it out from under it. When he noticed that he waked up me, he apologized and then disappeared at the end of the corridor. After two minutes, it was as if they had been replaced. He smiled at me fresh.

- Would you like breakfast? - Sam asked. Since, unlike him, I am tormented by fatigue, I just nodded a little. This is slowly becoming a habit. - Then come. - he waved his hand and walked towards the door. Since I didn't have much of a choice, I followed. As soon as I stepped outside, I was hit by the pleasant cold of the morning and the fresh breezes, which had a refreshing effect on me.

- We will hunt. - Sam stated confidently. I just stared at him with round eyes. - Don't worry, you'll be fine. You will enjoy it.

- But you didn't teach me anything about this subject. I don't even know where to start, I...

- Clary! Look at me and calm down! - he took my face between his hands. - I didn't tell you about it because it's not a common thing. I mean, every vampire starts out differently, the process is different, the tool is different, the implementation is different. Once you start, you won't have any questions. It's like that inner voice that warns you of the danger with which you criticize others in yourself. Listen to him.

- But what if I attack a person?

- People don't go here. You are not so quick to disappear from my sight. Let's get started okay? - he didn't wait for my answer, he just stood behind my back and put his hand on my shoulder. - Okay, now close your eyes and concentrate. Listen to the silence.That's how I did it. I listened to the silence, which was actually the noise itself. I heard every little creature, every rustling of leaves. I sniffed deeply, I felt everything now. But suddenly a delicious scent escaped into my nose and that was all I felt after that. And desire. I ran at lightning speed in the direction of the smell and only slowed down when I saw a deer.The animal stood innocently by the water of the lake and drank. But I didn't care how innocent or how sweet she was, I attacked her. I sunk my canines into the animal's neck, and from then on there was no stopping. The taste of his blood was indescribable. I could compare it to caramel. So sweet and delicious... Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. I don't care, I don't pay him much attention, just to stop sucking the deer's blood for a moment to push the hand off me. When I succeeded, I continued to eat, but five seconds later someone pushed me back.Suddenly everything became clearer. Like coming up from under water, or when you wake up from a dream. At first I could see a little blurry, but the picture started to clear pretty quickly. Then I saw Sam crouching in front of me.

- Are you okay? - Sam asked.

- Yes, and you? - after I asked the question, I regretted it. - Jesus, Sam, don't be angry! I did not mean to hurt you.

- You mean this push? That was nothing for a 180 year old vampire. Besides, it's natural. Newborns are much, much bloodier than you at the first time. There was even a case where a new one tore out the heart of an older vampire who wanted to stop him. In comparison, you stopped and didn't kill me. Overall, there is still room for improvement, but you did very well. - Sam's reassuring smile disappeared when he looked behind my back. He stood up slowly and measuredly. As I was still elbowed in the forearm, I scrambled up to see what had made Sam so gloomy.

- What a coincidence. - the familiar voice says. Until now, I was sure that he didn't mind to hurt me, but now looking at him like that, I was a little unsure. His whole body seems stiff, one leg is slightly forward than the other, so he is ready to attack.

- Victor Castro. What can we thank for meeting you? - Sam's voice sounded defiant. And then it occurred to me, is it possible that Sam and Victor know each other better than Sam claims?

- I was looking for Clary. - then he looked at me. I kept eye contact with him, I didn't want anything to happen. There was something interesting and inviting about it. - Did you realize how worried I was for you? - do he really thinks that I care after what he did?

- You shouldn't have, I'm in good hands. - I nodded towards Sam.

- I doubt that.

- But that's the way it is.

- Do you know that I will kill for you if I have to right? If he brings you trouble... - he couldn't finish because Sam interrupted him.

- I don't think there's any need to threaten, but if that's what you want, then know that I'll do the same for her.

- I'll rip your heart out! - Victor started towards Sam, but I was able to grab his wrist, which, let's face it, surprised me.

- If you dare to touch him with a finger, it can easily happen to you too.

- Clary... You couldn't do it.

- Why not? You killed me, and turned me into some hideous, predatory human-killer. And why? - although I didn't expect an answer, I took a break anyway. - Out of selfishness. So I think I have enough reason to hurt you. - silence settled between us, but it didn't last long.

- Please answer one of my questions and I'll leave.

- All right. What would it be? - I don't know why, maybe out of respect for me, but Sam stood a little further away from us.

- Is it really so terrible that you became a vampire? Can't you really see that I did it for the happiness of both of us? - the pump goes up in me, I don't have to think about the answer for a second.

- Because I didn't want a life in which my only goal is blood. I didn't want eternal life, if I made a mistake it would haunt me forever. But it happened, because the first mistake was that I loved you. - my eyes filled with tears. - I wanted to live with my family. With my parents and Edina, then with my loving husband, whom I thought for a single moment would be you, and with our children together. I wanted to listen to their laughter from the veranda of our house, which is on the edge of a clearing. Then to grow old and live for our grandchildren, to give them everything. Saying my last words to my family in a soft bed, then giving up my life and giving it to someone else. To another innocent mortal. And you dare to say that you did it for our happiness! Go to hell! - the tears made their way, I try to control them with more and less success. Victor just stares at the ground frozen.

- I promise I won't bother you again. - and he disappeared like lightning.

- I'm sorry. - said Sam when I stepped next to him.