Emeralds

Thirty-nine.

Emeralds 39
[Leen]

Just a short while before landing Adam falls asleep joining the other two. I know he does when I hear his breathing becoming even. This is how I'm starting to know everything about Adam, I'm starting to learn about him more deeply. I know it's him coming towards me because I know how his footsteps sound, I know he is going out before he tells me when I smell his perfume. I memorise the way he crunches pomegranate and chips and other crunchy food. The smell of his intense coffee is my everyday good morning. He fiddles with his keys when he's bored and he breathes less when he is nervous. I don't think I would have known all these things if I had my eyes open. I know I'm in the process of discovering a totally new side of him; someplace between his outside and inside selves, a place maybe even he isn't aware of.

We land a short while later, Adam helps me find my way through the aisles and out of the plane.
"Adam," I whisper enthusiastically as I hold onto his arm, I feel him turning towards me. "We finally made it! Thank you." He just pulls me closer reassuringly. Well, Adam taught me that sometimes a simple gesture could be more meaningful than a thousand words.

We arrive in Al-Madinah where we'll be staying for two days before going to Makkah. We have an hour to rest and eat before it's time to pray Al-Duhr.
"I'm dying to sleep," Adam says once we're in our hotel room.
"For God's sake Adam you slept on the plane! I'm the only one who didn't get any sleep."
"But I want to sleep again."
"You'll miss the prayer if you sleep now, it's less than an hour from now," I say sitting on the fluffy white bed.
"I know," he sighs. "I'll eat then." I laugh. He opens the fridge and closes it again.
"What did you take?" I ask.
"Chocolate," he answers. "You want some?"
"Yes," I say as he puts a bar of chocolate in my hand and clasps my fingers around it. "Thanks."

We get ready to leave, I put on a black abaya and Adam adjusts the blue hijab for me.
"All ready," he says when he's done. "I'm starting to gain some new talents."
"Thanks to me," I point out.

We go outside to meet Ahmed and Mariam before heading to the masjid which is just across the street. Mariam takes my hand and Adam asks her for the hundredth time to look after me that I can almost visualise her rolling her eyes and it makes me laugh.
"He's too much!" she complains once we leave.
"I know," I nod knowingly.

Although I've been here twice with my family when I was younger, it still hurts that I can't see the place around me. I can't see the masjid or the white marble floor or the beauty of the building and the decorations. I remember how much I loved the lights and chandeliers back then; all majestic and glowing.

Mariam walks me through the crowds that I can remember very well that I feel as if I can see them. Thousands and thousands of Muslims from all around the world. Never have I seen all these nationalities, colours, customs and languages in the same place except here. A woman bumps into me and mumbles something in what seems like Hindi or Urdu, it sounds like an apology. I mumble an English sorry and stick closer to Mariam.
"Mariam," I suddenly call. "Do I look like I'm blind?"
"Besides having the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen mashallah," she says. "You look pretty normal to me."

We stand, ready for praying, and the sheikh starts reading,
"And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."

The aya captures my attention and makes me think about Adam. I try to focus as much as I can until we're done praying. When we finish, we decide to stay for a while— Mariam wants to read some Quran, and I can't think of a better place to clear my mind. I take out the iPod from my bag and ask Mariam to play Surat Al-Rum for me. A while later, the same aya comes again and I pay more attention, letting numerous memories rush through my mind and in front of my eyes, lighting up their darkness.