The Ghost of You ~ TaeGyu

8

🦋

I know what you're probably thinking.

"Taehyuns a bad person." "He's toxic."

He had bad moments, but he brought me the most happiness I ever had.

Remember, this isn't your relationship, your feelings,

they're mine.

You don't have a right to tell me whats good for me.

Because I know Taehyun is good for me, as i've said i'd do anything for him.

I meant it.

Taehyun never really got along with my friends.

He tolerated Yeonjun, but wouldn't speak to Soobin or Kai.

Yeonjun said Taehyun needed help.

It made me upset the way Yeonjun would speak down on him.

Yeonjun just wanted me to be safe, I know that, he didn't like how I started to hang out with Taehyun more.

Taehyun said he thought Yeonjun was in love with me.

I think it made him jealous to see how close Yeonjun and I were with Taehyuns suspicion.

While Taehyun was alive, Yeonjun never said anything, he acted as he usually would.

I loved Yeonjun, he's my best friend.

But I would choose Taehyun over him in a heartbeat.

I think he knew that.

After the accident, they brought me into a cold room, they gave me a blanket, water.

I dont think I had processed it yet.

"Before Taehyun left your house the night he died, what behavoir did he exhibit?"

My eyes were wide, my eyelids heavy, I hadn't slept since the night of the accident.

I stared down into the water, the  Condensation on the sides of the white paper cup slid down slowly, reminded me of the way his blood was trickling down his temple.

I felt sick.

My reflection stared back at me, but all I could see in the rippling water was Taehyun staring back at me.

"Mr Choi?"

I look up from the cup, snapping back into reality as I make eye contact with the older male infront of me.

"Yeah?"

"How did Taehyun act before he left your house the night of the incident?"

"Um. He was sad, distraught. He wanted me to comfort him..since..um since.." My eyes wandered to the ceiling, how the lights flickered, the stains on the ceiling from water leaking throuh over the years.

"Since.." I tried to continue, my eyes darting around the room.

Filthy.

I look down at my clothes, I haven't changed in days.

Filthy.

My head began to fall, and the cup of water had been knocked over, spilling onto the dirty floor.

Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. Filthy.

"Maybe we should continue this another time, i'm sorry for your loss, Beomgyu."

They had to bring somone to escort me out.

I could never get through an entire interview, they gave up after awhile.

I couldn't handle saying he was dead.

Maybe if I kept beliving he would come back he would.

Maybe if I kept on sleeping I would wake up and this was just a nightmare.

Everyday I woke up and I felt worse than the last.

How could anyone move on from losing someone they loved?
🦋

Clutching cold pale skin, so lifeless until you split it open and specks of red bubble like pomegranate seeds before they break and trickle down the arm, giving it color that was once absent.

Taehyun held a blade in one hand, Beomgyus arm in the other.

Rough breathes wracked through Beomgyus body as he clutched onto Taehyuns shirt, the close proximity made him feel dizzy rather than the blood loss.

"You can't let Yeonjun see this, you know?"

Beomgyu breathed out, wiping his face of sweat that was starting to form.

"I know." Beomgyu breathed, his eyes unmoving from the assault on his forearm.

"The Beomgyu I knew before would've cringed at the sight of this much blood." Taehyun whispered, dragging his fingers over the pools of red that started to form.

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah," Taehyun let the blade drop onto the bed. "but he's gone, isn't he?"

Beomgyu didn't reply.

"It's okay." Taehyun grabbed Beomgyus arm with his other hand too, his blood stained fingers making marks into the skin as he leaned down to his arm. "I still love Beomgyu, old or new."

Taehyun pressed his tongue to Beomgyus wrist, dragging all the way up to the crease of his arm.

🦋