The Ghost of You ~ TaeGyu

13

🦋

Taehyun was sick, I knew that. I knew that very early on. Some days he couldn't even look at me, have it be from him hitting me the day before, or something was going on in his head. I wish he knew that nothing he could've done would've changed my love for him, nothing could strain it.

He said he was bad for me, but I thought different, I couldn't imagine a world without him in it, god    forbid    actually    living     in    one.

I think his head was bad for him, I wish I could've taken all of his bad thoughts for myself,

I think he hated himself more than he loved me.

Even after we grew close, I think he couldn't bring himself to touch me, like he knew he'd hurt me.

I'd rather him hurt me then him give me nothing at all though.

If hurting me made him feel better, even just for a bit, I'd let him.

Taehyun, he never had the best coping mechanisms. 

I mean, he wasn't a cutter, but he punched holes in walls, he punched me, but since his aunt was so hooked on pills, he didn't want to become like her.

Though, she would tell him how they made her  feel, how they made her numb.

So, he tried it. 

He had told me about it, how he used them every once in awhile to 'feel better' but of course I was worried, I got upset and told him he could get addicted, or he could overdose.

He promised me that wouldn't happen, how it was only every once in awhile but I knew better.

It was only a matter of time.

-

I stepped onto the familiar front porch, the front porch that belonged to the Kangs.

These past few months I've been visiting more and more, Taehyun's family grew quite fond of me.

I rose my hand, knocking on the door. Expecting Taehyun, the door opened to reveal Ryujin in his stead.

"Beomgyu? Are you here to see Tae?"

"Mhm! Is he here?"

Ryujin smiles. "Yes, I think he's in his room napping, he wont mind you coming up."

She steps aside, letting me inside.

"Thank you." 

She nods, watching me as I walked up the staircase. "How's your head doing?"

I look back, giving her a soft smile. "Just fine, don't worry."

"Don't hesitate to call me up if needed."

"Thank you Noona." I continue up the stairs, making my way to his room.

Ryujin was a soft spoken girl, she worked a lot, you could tell the toll it took on her due to the bags under her eyes that never seemed to fade away. Her long brown hair was always pulled into a ponytail, scratched up glasses sat atop her nose bridge. Being Taehyuns older sister, and only role model, she was like a mother figure to him, or to anyone really. She took care of Taehyun, as well as me, she always seemed to notice when I was down. She truly had a pure heart, a nice girl who was hurt so much in her life that all she wanted was to shield  whom she loved from that same hurt. It's a shame what happened to her. Their aunt lost both of her kids that night, I can't help but feel bad for her.