The Ghost of You ~ TaeGyu

11

🦋

When Taehyun died, a part of me was missing.

You've probably heard that metaphor before but, I mean it.

It was like someone carved out my soul and left me to bleed out for the rest of my life.

You never know how much you take advantage of something until it's taken from you.

I was empty.

I was numb.

I wanted the feeling of being whole again so bad.

I just wanted to feel something again, anything.

When I saw Taehyun again

I felt whole.

I can't explain to you with words how it felt to have nothing, to be stuck in an endless loop of self deprecation and to suddenly have everything.

I didn't think it was real.

I thought I was dreaming.

I never wanted to wake up.

🦋

The piercing air was harsh against Beomgyus skin as he laid on the wet ground, staring up into the dark black ink that was the sky.

Surrounded by rocks, names and dates etched into the aged stone, soon to be forgotten.

The white specks that littered the deep black that stretched as far as anyone could see seemed so bright on the ground of the cemetery.

He wondered if anyone ever tried to count them.

"Do you think you're still under there?"

Taehyun looked down at Beomgyu from where he sat next to him.

"Maybe? Probably all sunken in and full of maggots."

"Morbid."

Taehyun leaned down, speaking next to his ear. "Think I'd still look pretty decomposing, Choi?"

Beomgyu turned his head towards him, looking into the pale, empty eyes that were Taehyuns.

"There's nothing that could happen to make you not be beautiful."

Taehyun paused.

Beomgyu reached out to him, his thumb swiping dirt onto the skin of his pale cheek.

Taehyun blinked, watching Beomgyu closely.

His hand cradled his cold face as he brought his other hand to his other cheek, staining the perfect, glass skin.

Someone whom he thought was perfect stayed just as alluring with imperfections smeared upon him.

Taehyuns hand found Beomgyus wrist.

Taehyun opened his mouth to speak but Beomgyu didn't let him, he stole his words with his lips against his.

He felt the world fall into place as his lips moved against Taehyuns.

Nothing could take this feeling away from him again,

he wouldn't let it happen.

As Taehyun deepened the kiss his grip tightened around Beomgyus wrist as he crawled forward, over the elder as his lips was pressed against his.

Beomgyus nails dug into the  lifeless flesh of Taehyuns face, he almost felt the dull pain that would have been there

If he wasn't dead.

Taehyun was dead, Beomgyu would continue to age as he was stuck in 18.

Beomgyu pulled him down closer, pressing their writhing bodies together.

Beomgyus shaking breath filled in for Taehyuns absent ones.

Taehyun was dead.

Taehyun grabbed Beomgyus waist, pressing him into the dirt as he pressed his body against his.

The Taehyun who used to breathe, who used to be warm to the touch wasn't above him, but below him, rotting into the dirt.

He felt the absence of life in his body.

His tongue cold against his, the lack of increased heartbeat.

Taehyun was dead.

🦋

 Beomgyu laid unconscious, soft fabric wrapped around his shoulders.

Taehyun laid awake, staring down at the boy as the dim light sculpted his features through the blinds.

He watched the boys chest rise and fall, his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks.

He watched Beomgyus mouth fall open in a quiet gasp, his breathing picked up as he rolled onto his back.

Taehyun, confused at first watched him closely, slowly realizing what was going on.

He reached out to him, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

He pressed his hand against his mouth and nose, pressing down and watching his face as he struggled to breathe.

He couldn't help but like the distress on his face.

Beomgyus eyes shot open, grabbing Taehyuns wrist in a panic, looking at him with wide eyes.

"You were having a nightmare." Taehyun whispered gently, Beomgyu started to calm down.

"Were you dreaming about me?" Taehyun asked, sitting up, hovering over him.

Beomgyu didn't reply, waiting a moment before nodding.

Taehyun pressed down harder, Beomgyu tried to gasp for a breath, but to no avail.

"Why can't you just forget about it?" 

Beomgyus hand tightened around his wrist, his body felt weaker and weaker as time passed.

"All I do is hurt you why have you let it happen all this time?"

Beomgyu couldn't breathe, and yet he did nothing to stop him.

Taehyun let his hand drop, Beomgyu coughed, gasping for breath.

"I'll let you do whatever you want to me," Beomgyu breathed, his chest heaving.

"Because I love you."

🦋