Octonauts Q&A

Paani

The monkey looked helplessly at his teammates, who were variably shrugging and looking extremely happy it wasn't them being questioned first. Peri gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. Koshi grinned and brought out a notebook, ready to jot down some of Paani's darkest secrets.

"Hey," complained Paani. "She's not allowed a notebook!"

"Says who?" grinned Crash. "She's got a notebook. You've got answers. I mean... I could stop her, but I'm not going to."

"Why not?"

"It's funny?" Crash suggested. "Entertainment, my friends. The whole reason we're doing this is to put you through as much embarrassment as possible. And if this gives you more embarrassment Paani, I'm all for it." He winked at the Octoagent. "But if it's anything to you..." Crash pulled out a notebook and pencil out of his trench coat and hands it to Paani. "You can go record everyone else's answers."

Paani had no choice but to dejectedly accept the notebook and paper and continue with the questioning.

"Firsty-uppy," Amy said happily. "Can you tell us please... Why, oh why, of all the jobs on this wonderful, amazing Earth did you choose to be a hydrologist. Like... Yeah, I have no other words, apart from a large and resounding why."

"Oh... Um... I mean, I always loved water."

"You did?" Princess looked confused. "Water holds any interest to children other than being a refreshing little sports break?"

"Oh for sure," Paani nodded quickly. "I was, after all."

A couple Octoagents and Octonauts which for now shall remain unnamed shared a 'and you mean all children?' glance.

"And, uh, since my family and I lived near a little creek, well, it was in our village. And when I was younger, I loved to visit every day. I would study the animals living there, and the ecosystem that existed in that little creek. There was always something new, something brilliant happening in the water."

"Now I'm getting you," Shellington nodded.

"Yeah, but you're a nerd like him," Kwazii said, sticking out his tongue. "If you and Paani are excited about something, it means that actually a very small percentage of people are interested in it."

"I guess," Shellington said slowly, evidently searching for a response. Dashi helped him out.

"You may be right," she responded to the smugly grinning pirate cat. "But if you look around the room, wouldn't we all be interested in that sort of ecosystem?"

Kwazii looked around the room, greeted by the view of nodded botanists, marine biologists, photographers, hydrologists, professors and mapmakers to name just a few occupations.

"Yeah. You're right," Crash said, evidently attempting (and failing somewhat) to hide a laugh at a very abashed Kwazii. "But not to be rude Dashi or Shellington, it ain't your questioning, it's Paani's. We'll get to the two of you later..." The way Crash said that and winked made Shellington and Dashi feel very uncomfortable. Very.

"Question two, Paani," continued Amy, wordlessly thanking Crash for regaining control of the conversation. "Can you surf? Do you reckon you can learn?"

"Sure," Paani shrugged, pulling out a Paani Patty and taking a huge bite out of it. "Isn't surfing just paddleboarding down a huge tsunami? I'm pretty sure I've done that at least three times in my life."

"I suppose that's one way to describe surfing," Amy said carefully. "But hey with the sort of skill you've got on that paddleboard of yours, I'm sure it would be no sweat."

"I will take that as a compliment," said Paani bluntly. "Got any more questions or am I free to go?"

"Not by a long shot," grinned Amy. "Plenty more questions for you, from everyone out there." She swept her arm in a vast arc around the room, the walls of which emitted a very strange audience laugh. The Octonauts looked around concernedly. Anyone listening closely could have heard Amy mutter "whoops."

"Anyways," Crash said, cutting off the laughter abruptly with a wave of his arm. "We should keep moving, there's a lot of you to question. Amy, your next question?"

"Rate how much you enjoy eating bananas."

"That's... That's it?" Paani asked hesitantly, praying for a simple question.

"Sure is," Amy smiled, much to Paani's relief. "Just bananas."

"I think they're very nutritious. They provide the body with healthy amounts of potassium and vitamin-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Kwazii interrupted. "Since when did you go all Shellington on us? Just move on to the juicy bits already."

Paani looked a little wounded, but Amy kept reading. Certain people aren't too interested in the nutritional benefits of bananas, after all.

"Sorry, but I guess the public has decided on what they want," she shrugged apologetically.

"Public? This is just a group of my closest friends and only Kwazii ever got bored!"

"Wait..." Kwazii once again interrupted. "You're not going to be showing this to the public are you Crash? You don't have any cameras? Secret microphones?"

"Of course not," Crash said, trying not to look at any of the fifty-four different cameras and assorted recording devices in the room (an impossible task; there always seemed to be one in view).

"Let's move on to another topic," Amy said hastily, to Crash's relief. "Last question. From me anyways. Can you relate to Kwazii since you're both adventurous and don't know what the word 'risky' means?"

"I relate to Kwazii on many different topics," Paani said. "The ones that you mentioned, sure. I also relate because of a hyperactivity caused by coffee, an interest in high speed, outdoor unharnessed rock climbing, acrobatics, the Captain's lectures-"

"That's enough of that," the Captain interjected quickly. "How about we actually talk about what Amy asked."

"Which was?"

"An ability to relate to Kwazii because of risky tendencies," Captain Barnacles reminded him. "And also a short attention span," he added under his breath.

"Oh yes. We're both very... Jumpy, I suppose. And, um, energetic? I suppose we both sometimes go ahead without the Captain's explicit permission... And we do both do a lot of things without thinking about it... Yes, I guess you could call us alike in that sense?"

"Honour to have that said about me, matey," Kwazii grinned.

"Awww, that's so sweet," Amy said. "But that's all from me. Any more Crashy?"

"Ah, just one. How on Earth do you make a Paani Patty?"

"Quite simple actually," the monkey said, happy he was on a topic of his specialty. "Throw nuts, berries, honey, peanut butter, grapes, flour, sugar, jam, fish biscuits, crackers, corn, milk, asparagus, juice, oreos, frozen yoghurt, bugs you found on your front door, that one mouldy piece of cheese that you thought was blue cheese, medicine, bandaid ointment..."

Dashi spat out something discreetly into a tissue. 

"I am never touching one of those things again."

"More for me," the Octoagent shrugged, popping a Patti into his mouth.

"And Paani, you're done!" Amy said happily.

"I am?"

"Yup?"

"Cool. (Crunch crunch crunch ooh, that's the cheese) Who's next?"

Crash looked around the room, taking in the fear and apprehension.

"I reckon... Our favourite park ranger, Mr Ranger Marsh."

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