KID IN LOVE － 𝔣𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔦𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰

hazel callahan | stupid

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o. why didn't you say anything sooner? because right now you felt so stupid, witnessing Hazel with someone else.

warnings: angst, one-sided pining by reader, jealousy

a-n: kinda short :/ But whatever, it's all I could manage right now

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You should have expected it sooner. You knew it was going to happen sooner or later. It just so happened that it was today, and now you hate yourself for waiting so long. You hate yourself for not speaking up about your feelings sooner.

Because, as you watch from the far side of the school hallways, eyes practically glued to the spot where Hazel stood with her new girlfriend. Where they both stood.

Hands interlocked, as the two speak in such hushed tones, giggling and chatting with each other. Wishing it were you in her position over there, wishing it were you with Hazel, sharing passion-filled kisses, and smiling as widely as you could.

But it's not, and you hate it. You can feel the tears coming, and you have to duck your head into your open locker door so nobody sees them fall. So nobody sees the tears that are threatening to spill, blurring your vision. A strangled sob managing to slip from your lips, right as you smack your hand over your mouth to muffle it the best you could.

I'm so fucking stupid

You think to yourself, as the tears don't stop. Glassy eyes shielded by the cool metal of your locker door, shielding your face from the view of the rushing students around you. You needed to get the fuck out of there. You thought you'd be able to handle it, you really thought you could. You didn't think seeing them together so soon would affect you this much.

I'm so fucking stupid.

The thought comes back, those same four words that won't stop running rampant inside of your brain. The harsh words that you just wanted to leave. If it weren't for you falling for Hazel Callahan, the cute masc who sat in front of you, in your English class (and one of your best friends), then you'd be fine. You wouldn't be like this, heart broken over the girl.

~~~~

You took a deep breath in and then out. Inhaling and exhaling as you braced yourself for what you were about to do. Your eyes locked onto the figure sitting on the school bleachers near the edge of the football field. Watching as she was carefully pulling her lunch from her backpack, as you tugged the straps of your backpack further up your shoulder.

You were finally going to do it. You were going to confess your feelings and ask your best friend out. Or at least, you were going to try and do that. But you prayed silently that you wouldn't chicken out once again from this.

Finally, you carefully began moving. Nerves running through your system as you carefully walked on over to where Hazel currently sat. Her eyes did not notice your approaching figure until you were now sitting beside her and dropping your backpack down on the seat in front of you.

She greeted you with a smile as she turned towards you now. You always loved the way she said your name, and you could have sworn, with the way your breath hitched slightly in your throat, when you looked into her eyes. That you fell for her all over again, even deeper than before, and it irked you how down bad you were right now.

"Hey, so I was wondering- Are you doing anything this Sunday?" You spoke carefully, bracing yourself for whatever Hazel would respond with. You begged and hoped with everything in you that it wouldn't be rejection. That she wouldn't reject you when you continued.

You watched her, eyes scanning her face, as you waited patiently.

"No? At least I don't think so, why?"

You bit your lip gently and prepared yourself once more. Racking your brain for the correct words you wanted to say and going about asking her. But you were stopped and taken aback for a moment, snapping right out from the depths of your own mind right now, when Hazel spoke again.

"Oh-wait, yeah, I am, sorry. I'm going on a date then." She finished quickly, apologising, as if that would make things any better calming your rapid-going thoughts.

"Okay, then that's-fine, I hope you have fun." It wasn't fine. Of course it wasn't. Though, you weren't going to say that, though. You weren't going to ruin her possible excitement or happiness for it. Besides, it's not like it would possibly turn into anything more, right?

~~~~

You were so fucking stupid. So, so, so stupid to think that she maybe there was a chance. A chance that Hazel Callahan might like you back, because here you are, heart breaking even further, the more you watch her and her girlfriend together.

And you obviously couldn't hate whoever she was dating, why would you? She made her happy, and that's all you wanted for Hazel. Even it couldn't be with you, like you so desperately want it to.