Chapter 7

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"Why do we ignore the ones who adore us

Adore the ones who ignore us

Love the ones who hurt us

And Hurt the ones that love us?"

I walked down the steps and onto the beach.

I was supposed to meet Dean here, like we had organized yesterday. But questions kept on replaying in my head. Who was Badger? And what if Dean knew him?

I sat on the bottom step and tried to organize my hair as I waited for him. After a few minutes I got bored of that so I just sat there staring at nothing in particular. I wondered if he would ever come, he was late, but he probably had better stuff to do than to meet a girl he barely knew on what seemed to be an abandoned beach. Maybe he was busy talking to his other girl friends, he's very attractive so I wouldn't doubt that.

I began to cradle myself, the harsh wind beat down on me as the sun hid amongst the grey clouds and the strong waves crashed against the rocks, the sea was not the colour that it had been the day before.

Dean still hadn't arrived, I had started doubting his return to the beach and was about to get up and leave; that was until I heard a bark; Delia ran up to me with drool all over her mouth. I stroked her adoringly until Dean arrived.

"Hey," I said, before I stood up to greet him, he wore a plain white top with a collar and dark blue, faded at the knee jeans. He had a black hoodie on, with the hood up over his head. "Hey Holly, sorry I'm a bit late, Delia refused to get out of the house so I ended up having to drag her!"

"She's pregnant, I wouldn't blame her" I said.

"Yeah, she is. That's why she's getting lazier I suppose, with all those kids in her." Dean said, before he bent down onto his knees and joined in with the stroking. "She's adorable," I said, before I ruffled her sides.

"Yeah I know, we got her from a dog's centre just down the road, maybe we can go there one day together?" He said.

"Yeah," I replied, "that would be fun".

Even though we were in conversation, I couldn't help but think about Badger.

"Can I ask you a question Dean?" I looked him in the eyes, before I gulped and waited for a reply." Yeah sure, why wouldn't you be?" He said, a confused expression appeared on his face.

"Actually no forget it." I said, before I looked down at my feet and fiddled with a bit of my hair. I spoke a bit too suddenly, too suddenly that he noticed. "Go on, I won't laugh! Even if your question is ridiculous!" He said, before he gave me a slight nudge.

"No honestly, it's of no importance." I said, before I took a step away from him.

"Holly, you brought it up! Now you have to tell me what you were going to ask."

"Just forget it ok." I groaned, before I paced over to where Delia had run off to.

"Holly wait!" Dean said, before he paced after me, "I didn't mean to get you upset, I just wanted to know." He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm not upset about you! I can't ever get upset about a boy I barely even know! I don't know anything about you Dean! I'm upset about everything at the moment - my boyfriend, my friends, and my step-dad, I'm upset about what's going on in my life right now, and most particularly I'm upset about Badger!" S**t. I wasn't supposed to say that. I turned to face him as I knew what the question would be.

"Badger... who's that?" He asked, I looked him in the eyes. I knew I could trust him no matter what, whether I'd only just met him or not, just by the glint in his eyes you could tell you could trust him.

I explained to Dean how I came across the letters. He explained to me that his mum used to be friends with Badger, they went to a boarding school together, but they called him Jo by that time.

"Holly there's something else about Badger, but It's quite sad." Dean said as he sat down on the sand and began to fiddle with his shoelace. "Please tell me, I want to know everything," I begged.

"Well his father was mad, literally mad, saw hallucinations. Probably thought he was a rabbit or something, jumped off that cliff over there," Dean pointed to a cliff to the left before he continued, "he expected to bounce back up." I stared at my feet. Poor Badger, he had to go through the pain of lies, and the pain of truth, all in one. He didn't deserve that, he was only a child. "Is Badger alive right now?" I asked, I prayed in my mind that Dean would assure me that he was.

"No, I don't think so."

Dean said that he hadn't read the letters Badger had written, so he wouldn't feel the emotions that I felt when I found out. "How did he die then?" I whispered.

"Well my Dad said that he took his own life, desperate to see his dad again. Saddest part is that he had a wife, and children, but he never got over his father's death." It took 5 seconds for the information that I had just received to sink in, then I wiped a tear from my eye. Stay strong Holly, you didn't even know Badger.

"Hey," Dean said, "are you crying?" He asked, before he wrapped an arm around me.
"No, just a bit of sand got into my eye." I pushed his arm away and stood up, "I've got to go." I said hurriedly, before I began to head in the direction of the steps.

"So, see you tomorrow, same time and place? And bring the letters with you, I want to read them!" He began to walk up the steps after me, and then he grabbed my arm, "Holly... I really like you, there's something different about you - a good different. I never thought I'd feel this way about someone I barely know". And with that he turned back around and walked away, leaving hairs on the back of my neck with a tingly feeling and a knot in my stomach.

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