Pick Your Poison

8 (🔞)

Freen POV
❗️TW TALK ABOUT SA❗️

Me and Becky didn't have chance to see each other through the week, but we were messaging each other a lot and even had a couple of phone calls. I love learning new things about her, like how she supports Manchester United and loves football. I know nothing about football and have never taken an interest in it, but I love hearing her talking about something she's passionate about.
We haven't spoken about the last time we saw each other and I'm too scared to bring it up. I know she promised she would tell me if she felt uncomfortable, but what if she doesn't? Maybe I'm being too cautious but it makes me anxious thinking about Becky going along with whatever I say.
We are both free on Saturday night, so we agreed that Becky will come to my apartment and I will cook us salmon with broccoli and potatoes. She told me she loves eating delicious foods but isn't good at cooking so I thought I would show her some of the basics. I always helped my mum doing the cooking when I was young, so I like to think I'm fairly good.
Saturday finally comes around and I am full of excitement. I smooth out my hair and my shirt when I hear the doorbell ring. I open the door and see Becky holding a bouquet of tulips. How did she know they are my favourite? Maybe it was a lucky guess. "Becky, you look incredible" I say, she is wearing a short pleated skirt with a long sleeve turtleneck tucked in, "come in" I say gesturing her through the door.
"Thank you, these are for you" she says, handing me the tulips, "also, I've brought back your clothes" smiling shyly. I take the tulips and clothes to put down, before returning to her and giving her a hug. "I've missed you" I say, as I nuzzle into her neck, "is that strange?" I quietly ask. She shakes her head, which is resting on my chest, "no, I've missed you too." She replies, breathing in a deep breath. "You also look incredible, quite handsome I would say" she pulls her head off my chest, smoothing out my shirt by my collarbones.
I chose to wear an oversized dress shirt and some long denim shorts, embracing my more masculine side. She leans in and presses a long kiss onto my lips and smiles as she pulls away. "Right then, we'd better start cooking, it may take a while. My brother describes me as a lost cause when it comes to cooking." I laugh and lead her to the kitchen.
Becky really isn't as bad at cooking as I was anticipating. We managed to cook the meal with no major accidents and it tastes pretty good as well. We chatted over dinner about everything and nothing, I think I could listen to her talking about the most boring subject all day. Once we've finished eating, Becky helps me put the crockery in the dishwasher and then I wipe down the surfaces while she finishes her glass of wine.
Just as I put the cloth by the sink, ready to join Becky on the sofa, I feel her arms glide around my waist from behind. I relax into her arms, enjoying the closeness. A kiss pressed into the side of my neck makes me take in a sharp breath and then, the dreaded words. "We need to talk". My heart stops.
I follow her to sit on the sofa, preparing myself for what she might say. We sit facing each other, she takes my hands into her own. "Last week, I think I might have been misinterpreting my feeling." She looks deeply into my eyes. "I told you I wasn't ready to... do anything, but I don't think that's entirely true." letting out a big sigh before continuing, "When we were... in your bed last week, I didn't want to stop, I was enjoying everything. I think at the bar, I was feeling nervous and panicked, but I don't think I actually meant I wasn't ready. I think I am ready, but I need you to trust that I know what I'm comfortable with and I will tell you if I ever feel uncomfortable."
I feel my eyes start to well up. This is the conversation I have been anxious about all week. She's opened up to me, so now I need to open up to her. "I think the reason I'm so cautious with you is because of my first time." I feel a single tear run down my cheek.
"My first boyfriend was the first person I slept with and he kind of pressured me into it. It wasn't like I didn't want to do it, but I wasn't ready. Then, most of the time we did it, I was only doing it to keep him happy, he didn't like taking no for an answer. And he would just cum and then go play video games, leaving me on my own. I was too young and naive to know any better to start off with, but once I realised I left him." I feel Becky pull me into her chest, hugging me tight. "I think that's why I'm being so overbearing about it. I don't want to be like him. I want your first time to be when you want it, not when it's expected of you."
"I'm so sorry that happened to you Freen" she says quietly, hugging me even tighter. "It's okay it was a long time ago now, I just don't ever want to put you in a position where you feel like you can't say no." She lies back against the sofa pulling me with her. "I promise, Freen, I have never even met this man, but you will never be like him. You are 100x the person he will ever be. I also promise I will try to communicate better with you so that you know I am only doing things because I want to, not because I feel like I have to."
I breathe out a sigh, "thank you, sorry for put a dampener on the evening" I say with a chuckle. "There's no need to apologise, it's a conversation we needed to have and I'm glad we've had. When I said I want to get to know you I meant every part of you, not just the good bits."
We stay curled up like this on the sofa for the rest of the evening, watching a shark documentary Becky has been telling me about. The longer we lay like this, the more I feel like I am crushing her, but every time I try to move she pulls me close.