Secretly Yours

CXLVI

INT. BEDROOM - EVENING

9:03 p.m.

Robin was lying in bed and mindlessly staring at the ceiling when Mikey walked in, sitting beside her.

Mikey
Love?

Robin
O?

Mikey
Are we . . . okay?

Robin nodded.

Mikey
Promise?

Robin
Oo. Pagod lang ako.

Mikey
Can we talk?
Or bukas na?
Pahinga na tayo?

Robin
Sige.
Ngayon na lang.

Mikey
Are you sure na it's okay for you if I release my statement on Thursday?

Robin
Thursday?

Mikey
Love, binanggit ko na kanina habang kumakain tayo ng dinner 'di ba? With my mom? I said I'll release it on Thursday.

Robin
Ah . . . sorry.
Lumulutang utak ko kanina.
Bakit sa Thursday pa? Akala ko bukas.

Mikey
Rest day natin tomorrow.

Robin
Ha?

Mikey
I don't want to hear anything tomorrow. Kaya sa Thursday na lang. And kailangan ko rin ipakita muna bukas kay Miss Sara 'yong draft ko before I post it on Thursday.

Robin
Okay . . .

Mikey
Sure?
Okay lang talaga?

Robin
Oo.

Mikey
How about Sir Rick?

Robin
Ewan.

Mikey
You know I don't really know him. He seems okay sa set, and kapag day-off he goes around to talk to everyone, nahalata ko rin naman 'yon. But I remember no'ng birthday celebration ko, when he was trying to hit on you.

Robin
Ah . . . sorry.

Mikey
You looked so uncomfortable.

Robin
Ikaw din—

Mikey
If I'm out sa picture, would you still be uncomfortable around him?

Robin
Ba't mo tinatanong 'yan?

Mikey
I'm trying to weigh.

Robin
E ba't ganiyan mo naman tinanong?
Parang sinasabi mo 'pag wala ka, siya kapalit.

Mikey
No.

Robin
Edi ano?

Mikey
I'm asking if ever you're available, and you don't have an existing rule, 'yong mga hirit niya that night like no'ng sinabi niyang he cooked the crispy pata extra delicious kasi alam niyang kakain ka, would that work on you?

Robin
Hindi.

Mikey
Hindi?

Robin
Para lang malinaw tayo, kaya ko ring lumandi. Kaya ko siyang sakyan kung gusto ko rin siya, kaya ko ring mag-first move. Pero hindi ko rin naman makita si Sir Rick in that way. Para sa 'kin isa siya sa kasama ko sa prod at boss ko siya. Ayun.

Mikey
Okay.

Robin
Nag-aalala lang din kasi talaga ako.
Alam ko kasi halos one year na rin siyang nag-a-attempt sa 'kin kaso nga 'di ko pinapansin saka upfront kong sinabi sa kanya na bawal dahil may rule ako na 'di ako pumapatol sa co-workers.

Pero ngayon napapa-overthink ako na paano kapag naisip niyang nasaan na 'yong rule ko? Na porket artista ka, kaya ko agad 'yon bawiin? Tapos ngayon lang naman tayo nagkakilala dahil sa project, siya medyo matagal ko nang kasama sa prod pero 'di ko binigyan ng chance?

Paano kapag dahil do'n pinag-initan tayo? Alam mo naman hindi bago na may nag-po-power trip sa 'tin. Eight years na baby steps 'yong binuno ko para maging production manager, kinakabahan lang ako na baka dahil lang dito, mawala 'yon bigla.

Mikey
. . .

Robin
Wala akong safety net, Mikey. Ito lang din 'yong gusto kong career para sa sarili ko kaya nga ginagalingan ko. Kung kailangan ko na namang bumalik sa square one, 'di ko alam sa'n ako mag-uumpisa.

Kaya sana ma-consider mo rin. Kasi career wise, magkaiba tayo ng standing. 'Yong safety net mo may sariling safety net. Ako wala. Hindi ko rin alam kung gusto ko ituloy pagiging diplomat para lang magkaro'n ng silbi 'yong diploma ko. Pero iniisip ko pa lang na magtatrabaho at magpapakahirap ako sa isang bagay na 'di ko gusto, para akong nilalagutan ng hininga.

Mikey remained mum.

Robin
Mauupos ako do'n.

Mikey
Is that what you're thinking?

Robin
Oo. Kaya napapagod na naman ako. Ang layo ng tinakbo ng utak ko pero worst case scenario, gusto ko lang din mag-prepare.

Mikey heaved a breath, laying down beside her and reaching for his girlfriend's hand.

The stillness overpowered the four corners of her room and there was nothing but the two of them staring into space.  Robin sighed, oblivious that he was mindlessly playing with her fingers.

[Messenger]

Sara Tolentino

9:18 p.m.

Mikey
Miss Sara, do you think it would be a wise career choice if I want to produce my next film?