Truthseeking

Dreaded Anticipation

Zim slumped against the smooth metal that made up his desk, dim blue light spread amongst some of the lab, but the Irken seemed to pay no mind. 

He bore a conflicted expression, eyes squinted, seemingly focused on everything and nothing at the same time. 

He blinked dully.

Dib was an idiot, foolish human. Filled with some sort of hope, a need for justice. 

It was funny in a way, the kind of thing he'd look back at and be howling with laughter after. 

But it didn't feel funny right now. This whole situation swelled with a confusing cry of emotions, emotions so strong that he'd been reduced to a useless, sobbing slump on the floor of his past enemy's base. 

His antennae bristled at the memory, physically ashamed of his weakness. 

Zim swore on his tallest, that he'd never, ever, shed a tear again. Not under any circumstances. The behaviour was below even that of a smeets, such vulnerability was fatal in the empire. 

The empire… Right. 

They were coming in just one day. One rotation of this strange planet. 

He… he should feel proud about that. 

The tallest had finally seen him as a real invader. Not just another failure. 

But… 

There was this sense of dread. Everywhere he went, it howled with ever thought of the invasion, ever since the night they'd called. 

It was stupid. Truly and utterly stupid. Dread was the last thing he should be feeling, there wasn't a reason for him to be feeling it. 

He'd been quite literally waiting his life for this, he was biologically designed to be an Invader. 

And now he was having his invasion, just as an invader should. 

He hated it. 

He hated how Dib was right. 

He didn't want this. 

And he hated that. 

Zim tugged on his antennae, frustration showing through the spikes of pain that slithered across them. 

For some reason beyond any reasoning, he didn't want the invasion. 

The realisation seemed to tower over him, making him feel impossibly inferior. 

He distantly wondered if this was how humans felt. 

He wondered if this was how Dib felt. 

He was no fool to how different Dib was compared to others of his species, and it seemed that even they had an understanding of that. 

From the moment he'd met Zim, he'd known. He'd seen through his act when no other human could. 

The irken had seen how he was isolated from his peers, always sitting with either his sister or completely alone. 

He was the odd one. 

And Zim was starting to wonder if that's how the empire saw him. 

But he wasn't different, was he? 

He'd been deemed defective after impending doom II, but surely that wasn't because his PAK was faulty. 

It was because he'd committed criminal acts. Been exiled. 

It had to be. 

Because he wasn't actually defective. 

Then why didn't he want the invasion? 

He was dragged out of his thoughts as he realised the room's lighting had changed. 

It was sharper, harsher, and it seemed to fill the room with robotic light. 

He looked up to see an impending transmission on his screen. 

He paused. 

From the Tallest. 

The irken almost tripped over himself as he stood. 

“Computer! Answer! “ He spat the demand hastily, voice pitched with an urgency. 

He stood straight, antennae stiff as he waited. 

A few moments of quiet air passed before the robotic voice of the computer replied. 

“Attempt failed. It seems that the transmission was received by a different system with the same signal as ours. ”

He blinked. 

“Dib answered the call. ” The robotic voice summarised. 

“What?” Zim squawked, dumbfounded. 

“Oh that slimey earthling! I told him not to answer my calls! And it should've been common sense not to answer calls from my Tallest! ” 

His antennae trembled with fury, and that familiar sense of dread began to creep up on him. 

Dib was talking to his Tallest right now.

He hissed a curse at the human, but his mind was all too focused on the realisation. 

He needed to get there. Fast. He couldn't let him ruin their plans. 

Whether he wanted it or not was a useless ponder, his leader's word is rule. 

Finding himself running through his base, he paused to shout a haste command to his computer, to protect the base. 

He hadn't even noticed he'd put on his disguise until the wind threatened his wig. 

He didn't recall it being a windy day on his way to his base, but now it seemed that every gust of air on the planet had joined against him, whipping at his face and tugging on his clothing. 

The run to Dibs base seemed to long on for years, the thought of him speaking with his Tallest yowling with every step he made, taunting him. 

He didn't bother with the useless human tradition of knocking, aiming to just hope it was unlocked. 

Swinging the door open, he almost slipped with his speed.

Sliding into the archway to the living room, he paused. 

Dib seemed to be challenging the annoyed faces on the large screen. 

No, no. He was arguing with them. 

Zim felt the blood drain from his body as he watched, frozen with the shock.