𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑅𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑏𝑜𝑤𝑠

XXVIII

Draco pov
Well, that sure was a meltdown from both James and Harry.
It's been long since we last had one of those.
I took the time to reassure everyone that Harry was okay but some memories do trigger, afterwards I cleaned up after dinner while talking with Teddy about it.
He'd sent Roman along with his brothers with the promise that he would be there soon.
We talked a lot about these things when Harry wasn't present, Harry's mind couldn't take it.
But Teddy and I frequently had conversations about Ginny and what had happened and how to best help both Harry and the boys with the whole situation. Just a lot of patience and understanding.

But it did irk me that Harry just shot it all down, it's obviously something that James frequently thinks about based on his way of asking. I do believe Harry should let James and Albus see Ginny if they wish to, but I think the biggest issue for him is that he's afraid she'll turn his kids against him, he has huge abandonment issues.

Teddy left soon after with the promise of asking James to come down, I wanted to hear where this desire to see his mother comes from.

James came in, 9 years old already. It's weird I've already spent a third of his life with him and half of Albus'. Enough sentimental stuff, let's get down to business already.

"James, I just want to say first off that I am not mad and neither is Daddy, okay?" He just nodded silently.

"And you're not in trouble, I just want to know where this is coming from. Why do you suddenly want to travel all the way to the Austrian Alps to visit your mom?" He fiddled with his hands a bit, he probably didn't expect us to actually ask him about it. It tugged at my heart a bit, but it is what it is.

"Last time when we were at the Granger-Weasleys; Albus and I, Grandma and Grandpa were there too and they started talking about mom and showed pictures of us all together and I miss that." Okay, pictures don't tell the whole story but I get where he's coming from.
It is weird for James, who can remember bits of his mom, having to adjust to suddenly having a new brother and a new dad.

"I get it James, and if you really really want to visit your mom, I will talk with Daddy about it but you have to know that Mommy and Daddy aren't friends anymore and that they hurt each other's feelings a lot back then and Daddy doesn't just forget."

"What did Mommy even do?" Oh my god, children and all their difficult questions.

"It's a very hard thing to talk about, but she hurt someone badly and that's why she's locked away."

"Will she hurt me or Albus?" James, don't do this to me.

"I don't know, but Daddy is scared something will happen and that's why he doesn't want to talk about Mommy." Is that even the right thing to say? I'm not qualified for this.

"I'm sorry..." Oh shit.

"No James, look, I want you to talk to Daddy about it and just tell him how you feel. He won't get mad, i promise." I can't promise shit, but I'm panicking.

He didn't say much as he leapt down from the chair and walked away, I couldn't decide with myself whether or not this was a productive conversation.

~~~~~~~~

I went to our room where Harry, just as I'd thought, was hiding under the sheets.

"Harry, you'll have to accept that she is still their mom and that it holds some sentimental value." He just turned away from me, good start Draco.

"I can take him there if you don't want to see her, I'll gladly do it if it helps." It made him turn towards me, better now.

"You can't, the court stated clearly that only I could bring them there. Shacklebolt will kill me if I don't honour it, he worked hard to ensure it. I just don't want to see her ever again, she fucked me up pretty bad." Yeah okay, that does make it difficult. Let's try a new approach...

"Sorry to say Harry, but you should've thought of that before you had kids with her. But you didn't, so now you'll have to put that trauma away for just a moment and be there for your kids."

"Throw my trauma away?! I can't just fucking do that Draco, you should know!"

"I do know! But we all just put on a mask and pull through!"

"I CAN'T! You don't fucking understand! My trauma is fucking everywhere, there's not any place I go that I don't see a dead person or some place that blood was spilt because of me!"

"I can't live anywhere, there's trauma in the house I shared with Ginny, there's trauma at Grimmauld and there's trauma here. I can't go anywhere anymore."

We both became silent, I didn't know what to say. I might've underestimated how much it filled him. He was crying now, I held him as he let it all out while I prayed James didn't decide that now was the moment. I don't know what to do, if he feels like this wherever he is, he can't be anywhere.

And how the fuck am I supposed to fix a problem like that?

"I'll write Shacklebolt, I'll even offer to let him accompany me if it helps. You're not going to Nurmengard, and that's final." His cries had become less and he was slowly calming down again.
Fucking Ginny, why'd she have to be such a bitch?

"I'll protect you Harry, forever and always."

Word Count: 935