Annoying a God

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I knew something bad was going to happen when I woke up dreaming.

I found myself standing on the deck of a massive ship.

I nearly screamed when I recognized it.

It was the ship from my last dream. The one made out of nails. I was standing in a different part of the ship, but I could still see the nails on the deck and on the railings and on the giant shields lining on the railings. Fore and aft rose ten meters tall, half-formed, figureheads shaped like snarling wolves. I couldn't see the mast from my last dream, there weren't any marching sounds. It was quiet, and that unsettled me.

I peered over the side between two ugly shields (everything was ugly considering it was made out of nails). Thirty and a half meters below, braided iron cables moored the ship to a dock. The grey waters churned with ice.

Why was it always ice?

First dream: icy ground and icy mountains. Second dream: ice fortress. Now, third dream: icy waters.

Next time, I'll grab more winter clothes before going to sleep, just in case my next dream is in Niflheim.

"Hello, Bruno." - said a voice to my right.

I turned. Loki had materialized out of nowhere. He was smiling, looking at the ship, his smile was predatory. His hands were clasped behind his back, he was leaning back and forth on his heels and...

"What are you wearing?"

"You like it?" - Loki spread out his arms.

His white admiral's jacket gleamed with medals, but Loki wasn't exactly wearing it like a true admiral should. It was open over a black T-shirt featuring Jack Nicholson's face from The Shining. The caption read: HEEEEERE'S LOKI!

"What are you doing here?" - I asked cautiosly.

"I'm here to talk, Bruno!" - his smile became a twisted toothy grin - "Our first interaction wasn't a good one, I want to change that. But first. Do you know where we are? Well, neither of us is here." - Loki scratched his scarred nose - "I'm still tied up on a stone slab with snake poison dripping in my face. You're dying on the banks of a river in Jotunheim."

"Oh, that's just lovely."

"Exactly! Wheter you live or not, this may be our last chance to talk. I wanted you to see this... Naglfar, the Ship of Nails! It's almost complete."

I took another look at the ship. It was nice to know that such ugly ship had an equally ugly name. Loki must have seen my unimpressed face, because he pursed his lips and his eyes flared in annoyance.

"I've been here before." - I remarked - "A ship made out of toenails and fingernails. Your former lover showed me." - I smirked, Loki's jaw had tensed at the mention of the giantess.

"Oh, Angrboda, so impatient." - Loki sighed dramatically - "I told her she should wait to show you the future, that is... if you survive long enough to see it."

"Why is it made out of nails?" - I asked. Loki rolled his eyes.

"If you insist." - Loki said - "Back in the old days, your ancestors knew that nail clippings carried part of your spirit, your essence... your DNA, you'd call it now. Throughout their lives, mortals were careful to burn any clippings they made. When they died, their nails would be trimmed and the clippings destroyed so the material wouldn't contribute to this great ship. But sometimes..." - Loki shrugged - "The proper precautions weren't taken."

"You have built a battleship out of the nails of dead people." - I said - "That's disgusting."

"Well, the ship is building itself. And, techncally, Naglfar belongs to Surt and the fire giants, but when Ragnarok comes I will guide this ship out of the harbour. We'll have an army of giants led by Captain Hrym, plus hundreds of thousands of dishonoured dead from Helheim... all those who were careless or unlucky enough to die without a sword in their hand, a proper burial and a decent post-mortem mani-pedi. We'll sail to Asgard and destroy the gods. It'll be awesome."

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