Journey of an Einherji - The Sword of Summer

Snowflakes of Fate

He looked like a typical Viking. Blond hair that reached his shoulders, blond beard, which wasn't tangled to my surpise. Blue eyes, pale face, crooked nose. A scar over his right eye to his prominent chin.

A grey winter camouflage jacket, beige cargo trousers, a belt from which hanged an axe, hiking boots with fur and ice skates. I think.

He reclined on a wooden throne, the seat drapped with bear hide. Across his lap lay a bow, and resting on the throne a quiver filled with various types of arrows. A fire burned in front of him, yet the ice around his feet wasn't melting.

He smiled slightly, like he was afraid to do it. Lips pressed together, tensed. I saw my own strange smile when I don't know how to react to someone sharing a sensitive subject. His eyes were the same blue mixed with grey that I had every cloudy day.

I understood why my mom would have fallen in love with him. It wasn't just because he was handsome, or because of his well kept beard. He carried himself with tranquility, yet there was a slight tension in his body, like he just wanted to start walking.

That reminded me of my dad.

A turmoil of emotions rised. I knew who he was and I had no idea what to do.

"Father." - I said.

"Bruno." - Ullr rose. He straigtened his back, but his eyes looked down. He didn't seem to know what to do with his arms - "I'm very glad to see you after all this time. I'd... I know you aren't a hugger, but I would... I understand that I'm not welcome. I understand you need more time-"

"Why did you left?" - I blurted out.

It was rude of me to do ask that. Honestly, I didn't even think to make that question.

The god sighed and lowered his head. When he looked up again, his eyes were filled with guilt.

"I know that this might sound like any other father's speech to an abondoned son. So, I ask you, let me explain."

I nodded. Ullr took a deep breath.

"I never really wandered around in Midgard like the other gods. I always kept to myself, in my own solitude. Winter lasts very little in many places of Midgard, and it's not a time many appreciate. But sometimes, I would walk in Midgard, visiting other countries. In one of those trips, I met your mother."

The god smiled. His eyes a million kilometres away.

"She was a wonderful woman. Not like any other I had ever loved. We met at a winter fair. I was simply walking around when I saw her... I fell for her immediately. It was the first time I felt nervous. Shortly after that, we started dating and... months later, when I found out she was pregnant, it made me extremely happy" - the god sighed, his tone turned bitter - ". But, fate is cruel, and two weeks before your birth, my grandfather requested my help to deal with a jotun revolution."

I folded my arms.

"I thought it would be a quick thing, but when I told your mother she knew I wasn't coming back. I told her who I was, you know? It didn't scared her, well, it certainly made her think I was crazy at first." - the god smiled - "And she was right. It wasn't a quick thing. I thought about coming back while I was away, but everytime I saw you both, it reminded me of other heroes. A hero's journey is filled with pain and tragedy. I was ashamed that I had put you in such path. By the time the revolution had been dealt with, your mother had met Pablo, and he made her happy again. It was much more that what I could give her."

Ullr looked down again, unable to keep his gaze on me.

I truly didn't know how to react. I thought that I would be mad, that I would shout, that I would be harsh. However, I didn't. I didn't want to, nor I felt angry.