Book- Misunderstood

Chapter 4

I bonded much with Robin and Olivia, tethering my heart and hopes to their friendship they held with me, and slowly I began to love them, though I had not realized this until later. We played like we always did, whenever school was in session, talking of trivial things, reading together, and making the jokes that made no sense as kids always did. They always referred to me as 'odd' despite their own ways being so seemingly odd to me. I saw the many friends they made and wondered greatly how they could have accomplished what to me was the greatest feat, but deciding these two souls were all I needed to feel my own hunger for love, I devoted myself to only these two. Though things changed when I finally reached the age from which I was in 5th grade, having not had any words from my mother nor my father whom I wondered how our leave had effected him. That day...I sat by our crooked tree that lay at the top of a hill that the sun tried to touch, where the shadows cast upon the light and all seemed to lay still there, though the leaves blew gently in the wind. I sat on a stone wall composed so well yet fell at the semicircle leading to the playground, crumbling so slowly as if time had long picked away at it's endurance. Robin and Olivia had told me to wait at this place, our usual meeting spot to ask me an important question and then play a new game they had learned. I followed this without hesitation as I had placed the utmost trust within them and waited patiently, swinging my feet nonchalantly on the side. We had grown, Olivia still holding a body that seemed itself child like in a sense though her voice had lost its whine, and Robin had lost her frail body as well, now becoming more filled by the magic that was puberty. I myself grew little, losing my own fragility though remained fragile in being as I still tried my best to be approachable and friendly, my blonde hair now longer, the bangs hanging over my right eye and my pale blue eye seeming to become more intense in itself. I smiled at these changes as they passed, believing that I had become more grown since I had been little and even more knowledgable from that time as I now understood far more than I had before, but I already knew that this was the wrong thought to let pass through my mind. I smiled slowly as my two friends whom I had come to love over the three years approached me with a smile on their face, but a tense atmosphere about them. They both grabbed hold of my arms and pulled me up and stood away from me once they were sure they had my attention. "So... Jack, Truth or Dare?" I looked in confusion at such a question, a game I had not heard much about but knowing the general rules, decided to pick the safer choice. "Truth" escaped my mouth to answer Robin's question and she looked at Olivia who looked back at her with a glare that I had not seen before. "Which of us do you like more?" I looked at them blankly at the question that seemed to shatter what I had held close to me. I tried my best to seem stupid as to dodge the question now that seemed to burn my mind, burning a hole in the memories I had, feeling a very imminent threat. "Which one do you want to be your girlfriend?" I looked at both of them as if I was deciding which one to choose but I looked to the ground in the end, feeling around for some answer that could be buried within my young mind. None came though. "I can't choose." I spoke meekly as they stared at me, only for me to hear a scoff from them both. "Choose Jack. You can only have one or the other." I wanted both, I didn't want to lose anyone. I looked at them again and slowly spoke, my eyes filling with tears at what I was doing, being made to choose when I didn't want to lose what I had found the most important to me now. "I can't choose between you two. You're all I have." I didn't realize exactly at that time such words carried such weight nor was I aware of exactly what I had said but neither did my two only friends. I watched as they gave me disgusted looks as if I had chosen to murder and steal for the entirety of my life, that I was born a sickened creation of corruption that all humans feel within their lives for the things they should never do. I watched as they slowly turned their backs on me, and walk back towards the school, the image of their backs burning itself forever into my mind. They never turned to leave me with any more words, just a feeling of sickening that turned my stomach more times than I could handle and I kneeled before the scene, as the sun shone on me. I slowly stood and headed back for the school, my eyes scanning carefully for the sign of red hair that had become so familiar to me or the blonde-black streaked hair lost in the words of a book that held some type of home to me. I stopped after finding that both seemed to lose their existence to my sight and I walked slowly back towards my class to find the two giving me looks like I had taken a knife and stabbed them so mercilessly for the reason of mere fun. At this I felt my eyes give way to a look of true worry and sadness as I once again like I had before, stared at the desk I sat at as I quickly set back to the work I was doing. I did not try to approach them again, out of fear that they may quickly turn on me and proceed to harm me for merely the uncomfortable sensation my existence brought them.So I went home at the end of the day, with a friction in my steps that slower than it had been these past few days. I stared at the ground with thoughts of pain that long remained asleep for the entirety of the three years that I had known them. I worked quickly on the work I had left that tore me away from the reality of what had truly happened, lying to myself with my imaginary friend who gave me false hugs and comfort to save my mind from despair. When I had finished, I went to my room without the love of a mother as I always had and laid down as I always did, now with my imaginary friend with me as my own solitary comfort as I drifted unhappily to sleep, it's dark veil covering my eyes. That day I dreamt of my choice except the two still remained so strongly my friends. When I woke, it was with a smile like the times when I had no one, except my face felt streams of water that fell down my cheeks from the happiness I felt in this image... yet the sadness of not having it.