Book- Misunderstood

Chapter 9

I hated the world then, my eyes and mind acting so differently and yet so in sync that it became something of parasitism. My eyes saw reality and the world as a place that was filled with nature and people, where they worked together, where they made ways to achieve. My mind though, destroyed what lay behind me, my body taking steps on the illuminated fragments of reality that remained as the world slowly came from being full and wondrous to a place of darkness filled with beings who wanted merely to harm me. Life though, took notice of this.I sat in the police station after having seen the relayed events over the many days I had suffered until the day that I found Robin to have been raped and murdered, the phone taken as evidence. I was questioned for a time, the hours almost endless as I stared back at the policemen, how admitted by the end his shock at my personality. I apparently exhibited no fear towards him when most kids would be afraid, and when he asked me what went through my head, I merely replied, solemnly, calmly, as if normal life."Because to me you're no one."I remember him opening his eyes wide at the insult yet seeing the mental damage that was incurred on me. He merely stood and I awaited the verdict of my actions being ones that were justified or not over the course of days that passed, and I noticed that life changed around me as well. My mother came back. She had comforted me and loved me, trying her best to give her affection to heal the wounds on my heart, trying her best to bring the life back to me. I remember one night she and I sat for dinner once, eating salmon, greens, and mash potatoes. As much as I would have loved to have her company before, and loved to have eaten something that tasted so good... I tasted nothing."Sweety.... I want you to talk to me, please."I didn't say anything, merely just stared at her with dark eyes, ones that seemed to stand so opposite to her bright ones. I just ate absent mindedly, waiting for dinner to end and go to my room and lay awake as I usually did. My mother though threw more words as she took another bite of her fish."I know what happened to you... was hard... but I want you to talk to someone, anyone. You'll only hurt yourself if you keep being like this."I stopped eating a moment, not filling fulfilled nor satisfied by the meal, as always. I looked at her now, and I felt my eyes grow fierce and angry, and when she saw this, she retracted as if she saw something that scared her. She looked down and away from me. I spoke the same as I did to the policeman."Don't talk to me like your my mother. Your nothing but a sham."I stood and went to my room, laying down as I heard the slow sobbing of the woman in the next room, her crying growing loud and uninhibited. What had she lost? I had remained alone for so long. I had no one. This.... this was nothing compared to the hole that had grown in my heart and the anger that filled it. She had no right. That's all I was concerned with. Few more days passed and I saw that my mothers physical health did not deteriorate, her eyes lit with a hope to obtain something already lost, and finding later that I was released of all charge. I was apparently a victim. When I heard this news, the policeman seemed taken aback when I smiled in the room so blatantly at the verdict. I stood with my mother and spoke, a feeling of tensity in the air as now, when I am older, do I realize what I had said were a verdict to the loss of my own humanity."Good. Trash deserves to burn."I left that day, not just the station, but reality.